To Paraphrase and old Doug Stanhope joke:

I bet all the other pedophiles hate this guy, all they have is some stale candy and a van, they can't compete with Mikey421's Augmented Reality rig.

Back in my bar fly days I met a guy who's pick up line was "one time my 15 year old boy friend tried to stab me." and that's still not the worst pick up line I've ever heard.

"purchase bootleg games"

After more subtle anti-piracy messages failed, media companies decided to stop fucking around and pivot to the "if you pirate media we'll send a pedophile after you" campaign.

DAWG Burger, with a cool puppy face.

Never heard of this show, seems like a hard lesson every week.

This is pretty good, but I still haven't come across a very special episode better than (and when I say "better than" I mean "more fucked up and uncomfortable to sit through") that Different Strokes episode with the fat bike shop owner that makes the two boys get shirtless and watch cartoon porn with possibly the most inappropriate laugh track use ever.