In comparison to the last two Phantom Menace was a goddamn masterpiece.

While I’m not in the Last Jedi hate camp, Rise of Skywalker was a fucking dumpster fire.

I don’t even know how skywalker was allowed to be that bad. It got through how many Disney committees?

I've been a Jake Lloyd Anakin fan since the movie came out, weathered all the hate. Jar Jar is cute IMO like Goofy, and yeah he's far less annoying than the mugging supporting characters who surrounded Leia in Rise of Skywalker.

Jar Jar is also an other, I've noticed people who hate the character don't appreciate that his culture was quite jovial while being effective warriors. He was a really solid guardian and friend to young Anakin and offered him pure companionship during a time when the slave child was earning a real reputation for his skills as a Pod Racer.

Rise of Skywalker offered nothing like this in terms of a character story. The good looking people shot the masked baddies and shouted woohoo, and the main girl got a yellow lightsaber and her bloodline was super important all along.

Meh, Rise of Skywalker seemed fine to me. It had good action, a few funny moments, and Palpatine hamming it up while hooked up to a mad science machine. Some acceptable melodrama and good poses. It's a dip in quality from the first two in that series, but I wouldn't call it any hotter garbage than, say, Return of the Jedi.

i walked out of the last star'd wars movie in the theater

was completely bored and uninterested in any of it - any small slivers of fond nostalgia i had about the series are completely gone at this point

You know, I’m the guy that got a bunch of shit for saying that phantom menace wasn’t that bad, but I’m not going to let slide someone defending skywalker. It was trash. It’s was like someone combined an AI CGI generator with a random star wars plot generator. Just threw in all the keywords from the previous movies and rendered the result without reviewing it.

Rey made pals with a Conan-esque giant serpent and Lando wore a cheetah print cape. They rode horses into battle on the outside of a star destroyer while Palpatine cackled in a haunted temple, okay? Get into it!

So you’re agreeing with me?

All that stuff in Skywalker worked for me as well, the problem was that the movie was so unconfident in itself or the previous movies.

Examples:
Bringing back Palpatine instead of running with the villains that 2 movies were spent building up.

Killling chewie then nope, he’s back next scene. (Chewie should’ve died)

Bringing back cgi homunculi Leia. Just don’t have her in the movie maybe?

Severe case of the not-gays

Yeah but at least the first few were honest trash. New Wars are overproduced corporate trash. It's still trash, but I think there's a difference.

There's an actor in Return of the Jedi wearing a horribly unconvincing fake beard in order to better match the look of his character's toy, which went to molding before the actor was cast. Star Wars has always been Star Wars.

the first one is okay, the rest are entirely forgettable if it wasn't boiled into your psyche in the 80's

Ewok Adventures is the best Star Wars

actually, yeah, i would still watch ewok adventures before i watched any of prequels

Star Wars was revolutionary for the time in terms of look and it really brought pulp fiction back for a lot of people. It updated scifi to be grittier, but it was still fun. Empire Strikes Back was genius writing. I didn't love Return of the Jedi as much but it tied the series up neatly.

There was nothing really "big" about the sequels. There was nothing mythic about them. Rian Johnson said he knew half the audience would hate his film, which is a really shocking thing for any director of a major film. I would really be curious to know if they paid off reviewers because so many of them gave AMAZING reviews of the Last Jedi. Like, a shocking number of reviewers gave TLJ praise and then some. The plot was completely all over the place with no point to it, the acting was terrible, and the entire subplot with the casino planet was all for nothing. Like, no part of that whole chunk of the movie got anything accomplished. It was a giant waste of time.

Jar Jar, on the other hand, was created with the best of intentions.

Jar Jar was George Lucas' attempt to create a lovable character and he honestly thought people would love Jar Jar. He was supposed to be a comic relief and also somehow an everyman ish hero that the audience could relate to. The Homer Simpson of Star Wars, as it were. I get where he was going with it, but he didn't understand Jar Jar was jarring to look at. He looked repulsive. His manner of speech was too off putting. And I'd still rather watch 4 hours of Jar Jar than anything Rian Johnson came up with.

I mean the fucking scene with purple hair Laura Dern as Holdo talking down to Poe because she as the leader could not BEAR to have anyone criticize her INCREDIBLY shitty strategy or the plan to just run away was actually Rian Johnson. Rian Johnson IS HOLDO. He expected everyone to follow the leader without question. I'm guessing he's successful because he's energetic and confident as fuck. I hope it's a lesson to Disney not to confuse confidence with competence.

Fuck him and fuck Holdo.

I would rank the Disney movies above the prequels if you're watching them in the background with the sound off.