God I hated that thing when it interrupted our rides and games.


Yeah, I'll be sure to get right on those fur suit aerobics.

Charles Entertainment Cheese, esquire.

Head hung low, he walks the store with all the glee of a funeral procession, occasionally stopping to give the kids a half-hearted wave, mustering the strength to raise his arm for just a moment, before the weight of his own failures comes crashing down on him once again, and he moves on. Later tonight, Charles will fail to perform in bed with his wife, then weep openly for hours.

Also: FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T LET A SINGLE CHILD GET AWAY WITHOUT BEING HUGGED.

-9:24 is when I lost it.
"well, there it is."

don't forget to bring a towel!

"It DIDN'T become a game of 'Who Can Spank Chucky'..."

It wasn't a real mouse? Also, Chucky? His name is Chuck E.

Dude...there were chicks in those costumes???!?!?!?? All this time I've been trying to kick them in the crotch.... ALL THE WASTED YEARS!!!!!

Make sure to remember to attach the velcro genitals...

I can feel the cold ache of failure in my stomach just watching this.

Long ago, an ex girlfriend of mine worked at Chucky E Cheese. The first time I picked her up there, I waited half an hour inside the store and I nearly had an aneurysm. It was madness, franchised. Afterwards, I just waited in my car.

Mercifully, she was not a mascot.