There's an anime called MAPS. I have to talk about that because trying to talk about this clip is too depressing for me.

Jesus. Just...um...wow.

ouch, ouch, the stupid, it burns!!!!

"...and the Asian countries."

Slater wants to laugh at her so badly. I'd hit it alright, but with a thirty pound bag of sand.

HOOKER, YOU POACHING BASTARD CHECK THE HOPPER FIRST FROM NOW ON.

Its like a tanker truck full of buzzwords rammed head-first into an 18-wheeler with a full load of morons doing 100 mph.

If she had a South Carolina accent I'd give this five stars.

I am shocked that the girls in a competition about looking good are dumb.

P.S. THE HOPPER IS A FAILED EXPERIMENT!

If I may put forward a slice of personal philosophy, I feel that the Hopper has ruled this world as a stumbling, demented child-king long enough

The girl is a genius.

She was asked a question about dumb, geographic illiterate Americans, and instead of answering directly, decided to provide an example of the problem, to illustrate just how serious it is.

"like, such as, and..."

is she allowed to drive a car?

South Africa and, uh, Eye-raq, everywhere, like, such as, and.

Jonbenet is lucky to be dead

She's right! We have to help those poor people get the things they need so they can have the ability to learn to do those other things! God bless you, Miss South Carolina, for having the courage to tell the truth! Now take off your shirt.

(Since she's from South Carolina, I assume that the real reason why she's having such a hard time is because she's desperately struggling with the primal, ancestoral urge to answer "because they're niggers.")

what a fucking retard

oh no she DITTEN' say "U.S.-Americans".

Oh, come on. She's fucking with them, right? You can't write a better answer than that.

Oh, man. Chet, dude that originally submitted this still got points towards front page access, right?

Free maps for everyone! Then South Iraqfrica will be free.

What the ever living fuck was that? I work on South African cartography, and you, miss, do not know South African cartography. You do not know how to answer questions. Oh my sweet merciful Jesus was that incoherent. The cum of judges must cause memory loss.

Is it still deposition week?

Now we need the video of Miss North Carolina's thought-provoking question. Joey Lawrence asks her about the biggest risk she's ever taken and she starts babbling about how it took a lot of courage for her to go snowboarding in Canada.

You know, the more I watch this, the more sympathetic I become to this poor girl., and the more I think she did a great job.

You'e a sixteen year old girl, called upon to explain a great social evil off the top of her head, but you say anything controversial. If you ask this question of a candidate in a presidential debate, he or she knows what to do... blame the other party. But a beauty pageant conestestant knows that her job is to not offend anyone. You can't blame liberals, conservatives, capitalism, television, or the fact that Americans are idiots. What do you do?

What CAN you do? It's the beauty pageant equivalent of the Kobyashi Maru. You have to take the hit. You point your supple young breasts at the camera, and you speak pure gibberish. And then you smile at the end.

You have to admire her poise. She never loses her cool. I hope she won.

She'll be voting in a few years.

Thank you very much, South Carolina.

It sounds more like cognitive dissonance than genuine stupidity. It's not that her answer is bad per se, it's just word salad, totally uninformative. Maybe she's just really shy, or has a fear of public speaking. Still, haha, bimbo.

Hilarious, but seriously. The poor girl was clearly scared out of her wits by stage fright.

No, she was bested by Aimee Teagarden, who proved once and for all that a seventeen year old actress has more gravitasse than a 17 year old beauty pageant contestant.

That'll teach you not to learn your answers by heart in advance. Especially if it's for a different question.

Answering questions involves saying words, she got that part right.

bad at impromptu speaking, nervous, or just dumb? Maybe all three.

Did she just end a sentence with "such as"?

From the mouth of babes.

Also it sounds like she's saying 'Osama' instead of some for the first part of that sentence. I thought she should have just finished her original thought of "Osama blew up everything on the maps, so we need to make new ones!" but then she detoured. Still, this is compelling.

Five stars just because Slater was in it

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Spelling bee champ is a jerk

THE IRAQ

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE FUTURE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE.

Why do they ask beauty pageant contestants how to solve the world's problems anyway? I could never figure that out. It takes hours for them to truss themselves up for the contest, but they're expected to be geniuses, too. Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Studying takes time.

And if you're lucky to be born attractive, why is it assumed that you should automatically be a genius? I'm a college graduate and I don't know fuck all of why people don't want to learn geography. I don't care much for geography, either.

The worst part of this? She won third runner-up.

(Also, I thought she said "Osama" near the beginning, too, not "some of" in a ditzy accent.)

It's like her mouth is saying things before her brain has thought them up.

Diarrhea of the mouth.

To be fair I've been asked difficult questions in front of a panel of people and fucking lost my mind and said the most retarded babbling shit. Fortunately I was able to stop, compose myself and start over.

I'm not looking forward to my dissertation defense.

Also: f-ing fine. I should feel bad about saying that about a chick born in 1989 but fuck it.

But she didn't answer the question.

I live in South Carolina, and this makes me want to commit acts of violence.