Horrendous video quality but does it really deserve any better?

Aw c'mon you are nitpicking now. Just turn down your contrast. Anything less would be a felony.

This may seem like the lowest a person can get, but just think: Average Homeboy aspired to be just like this and FAILED.

This song is awesome and you fucking know it

wax a chump like a candle

This single sold 15 million copies. That's one for every person in Kazakhstan.


Come to think of it, that's a reasonable explanation of who bought them all.

Crib notes.

An awful classic.

Have you ever seen a turtle get down?

I have a friend who still listens to this song almost entirely unironically. Everybody needs a friend like that.

His style's like a chemical spill.

I remember when this song came out, I believe I was in 7th grade. All my white friends bought it, and I laughed at them. Six months later, they were all insulting Vanilla Ice as being a poser. After that, I rubbed it in more or less all the time, and they stopped being my friends. They decided to become legit rap fans by buying NWA and Public Enemy records, which I said was actually worse because they were middle class white people and it made to sense to me to idolize black people that didn't like them.

I spent a lot of time in the library by myself, drawing penises and monsters in the margins and talking to an autistic boy named Tony who was obsessed with panthers.

The only person who would be white enough to cover this song is Enjoy, and I'd gladly contribute to a fund to see this happen.

Just Add Ice.

Bravely rated and reviewed, ryanowens.