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Desc:Goronchev can get chicks but not on Myspace.
Tags:Myspace, goronchev, male pattern baldness, axe body spray
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Comment count is 51
Repomancer - 2007-10-25
All the abs in the world don't help when you're BALD AS HELL
Hooker - 2007-10-25
Aww, fuck. Really?

Innocent Bystander - 2007-10-25
Yeah, because women are mostly interested in men on the basis of their hair.

Why doesn't he just shave his head and be done with it?

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2007-10-25
I think he's rather dashing, myself. Too bad he's got a repellent and clueless personality. I have news for you. When girls back down at the last minute, it ain't the hair.

Princess v2.1 - 2007-10-25
WRONG. Most women look at the complete package. However, bald heads usually go terribly with babyfaces... and just because you're ripped doesn't mean you have a nice body.

Also, this smurf has never met an actual tough guy.

NoCode - 2007-10-25
Like hell - balding guys are super cute. However, no cuteness factors can undo this guy's repulsive self-love. No shocker that he couldn't find any poon if he was asking like this.

Maggot Brain - 2007-10-25
It doesn't help that he's a misogynistic ass hole with a overinflated ego and mash potato abs.
William Burns - 2007-10-25
That's the kind of physique only no exercise and tons of steroids will get you. Good job, now you look like you're made of legos that are made of pork.
Frank Rizzo - 2007-10-25
man, to go so bald so young truly fucking sucks the cock of cocks.
Frank Rizzo - 2007-10-25

fluffy - 2007-10-25
One of my best friends started going bald when he was like 17. For him it's worked out pretty well. But he's also personable and nice and people actually like him, and meanwhile this made it really easy for him to get alcohol because nobody cards the 17-year-old who looks 35.

StanleyPain - 2007-10-25
He has a 21st century Travis Bickle thing going on...it's kind of creepy how there's nothing on the walls in any of his videos.

boner - 2007-10-25
I get the feeling there is a bare 60 watt bulb hanging from the ceiling.

a flaming monkey - 2007-10-25
Hmmm, loath as I am to comment on his physical appearance, he really does have a gigantic head. Look closely at the proportions.
If he works out his head, then he has achieved GREAT SUCCESS in its mighty bigness.
a flaming monkey - 2007-10-25
Wait!!! People!!!! You have to watch this response to Goronchev: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCvhXUDq4DI

I'm not putting it in the hopper because I can't be fucked. Enjoy.

Innocent Bystander - 2007-10-25
Ok, I seriously don't know. Is that video a joke?

a flaming monkey - 2007-10-25
Please God, I hope not (?)

futurebot - 2007-10-25
1 star because Enjoy stole this from a flaming monkey. BOOOO

Enjoy - 2007-10-25
Dude. I didn't know if he had front-page rights. All props go to flaming monkey!!

jihadbaby - 2007-10-25
Man, that video response just broke my mind.

baleen - 2007-10-25

I have had sex with several people on myspace and I am fat.
jihadbaby - 2007-10-25
I had sex with several bouncers on myspace.

baleen - 2007-10-25

was one of them me? you would know because my cock would punch a hole in your ass at 4000psi and you would fly into the drywall like a Georgetown preppy in a smackdown with me (a bouncer).

jihadbaby - 2007-10-25
Ah, the sweet memories... :)

Doctor Arcane - 2007-10-25
Waiiiiiiiit.. You can have sex with people on myspace? I've got to go update my profile.

Also does he ever say how much he can lift or what not? I find it odd he makes such a big deal out of how ripped he is and I havent how much he can squat/deadlift/bench yet.

Also, he's going to climb up a tower real soon with a rifle. You watch.

Midnight Man - 2007-10-25
Steebis - 2007-10-25
Toward the end of this I'm pretty sure i saw a cluster of date raped souls push their faces against his abdominal wall.
Angel Carver - 2007-10-25
It's that Lynchian, industrial, soul-sucking sound playing at low volume throughout this video that elevates it to the level of A-R-T.
Xiphias - 2007-10-25
They call that an "air conditioner."

Roachbud - 2007-10-25
still want to beat his ass
futurebot - 2007-10-25
Hopefully he'll try to get into a club where you're working using a fake ID, and then you'll be able to kick his ass since you're a bouncer.

Roachbud - 2007-10-25
Unfortunately I only work the door when the regular guy needs to piss or chit chat with the DJ

Billy Buttsex - 2007-10-25
WHAT?! Dude... myspace should change it's name to MyAss because of all the ass you can get from it. I mean, unless you're fugly and retarded, you can score like, every weekend.

This is this guy's strategy:
"Hey cutie. Hit me back."
TeenerTot - 2007-10-25
GUH! I say to all the self-righteous internet pontificators.
Watch your own video and maybe you'll get a clue why you can't get laid.
Also: He kinda reminds me of the muscle-bound child that was on Ripley's all those years ago.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2007-10-25
I wonder, when he self destructs, if he'll take himself or twenty other people with him. Sort of like the VT shooter.
theFlu - 2007-10-25
he's like a living M.U.S.C.L.E Man
x - 2007-10-25
Prostitutes don't count as conquests.
NoCode - 2007-10-25
Where did Goronchev get the idea that women choose whom to fuck based on looks?
TheQuakeSoldier - 2007-10-25
How dare you question his personality when he "looks like this". Because come on, he "looks like this".

Afgh - 2007-10-25
Keefu - 2007-10-25
Is the goron part of goronchev a Zelda reference?

How goddamn fitting
a flaming monkey - 2007-10-25
I think it's Russian for "I have several chips on my shoulder".

phalsebob - 2007-10-26
Of course this is real. This is the new Consumer Reports section on where to get fucked on the internet. MySpace got a black and white circle, same as PoeN.
yoyo1 - 2007-10-31
I think too much bodybuilding(possibly with steroid use) could be responsible for juvenile baldness, I see a lot of bald bodybuilders .
nonplusplus - 2008-02-10
It's not the bodybuilding, it's the steroids.

Chalkdust - 2008-04-14

gambol - 2007-11-27
What's happening
nonplusplus - 2008-02-10
"In real life I can get a ten to fuck me. And this has happened MULTIPLE times."
Jeff Fries - 2008-05-08
This gives me nothing but Arrested Development flashbacks. George Michael's muscle suit crossed with Uncle Buster's hair and Ron Howard's voice.
alarmcall - 2008-07-21
"90% of the girls on that say they are bi are really guys" ?
I was totally expecting another conclusion.

mashedtater - 2008-11-09
Can someone get him a cup of shirt?
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