their "portions have impressed" a generic middle-manager!

Also, count the waving faces at the end that seriously don't give a shit

I'm a Captain of Industry!

Everyone's a star
at our side and salad bar

awww enemies of baleen are 1 starring me. :(

Five stars for moons over myhammy and waitresses that accept tips in the form of joints

The clips of the food were genuinely horrifying.

That music + Denny's + Denny's actually mentioned in the song was enough for 5 stars alone.

There's always a kind of air of desperation in corporate inspirational videos, and I'm not sure where it's coming from.

This couldn't be any more perfect if it came with a free blowjob.

The fact that they boast about having "real food."

The doughy, grinning, curly-haired semi-retarded manchildren (that you know are touching themselves in the walk-in cooler) looming over your table and your chicken nuggets.

The extra Flaaagstaa-aa-aar at the end.

And yes, I almost pissed myself over everyone being a "star, at our side and salad bar."

Watching this video was like having a child hug my neck

You know what I blame for this? We are the World. That song left a huge stain on our culture.

Also, just looking at the food made me feel overeating sickness.

It's Flagstar corporate policy that no Denny's can be further than 500 yards from a major highway.

How can any of these people (including, nay, especially the singers) be able to look themselves in the mirror anymore?

They have smiles but their cold dead lying eyes...

Oh fuck, there's even a key change!

Thanks, that final flaaAAAAgstar made me spew tea all over my desk

neville brothers wrote this jingle.
you can tell because it's funky

*flaaaAAAAHAAAAAAAAG-staaaar*

-2.45: What the hell kind of breakfast is that supposed to be? Lichen?

(also: FlaaaHAAAAAAAAGstahahaarrrr"

Early in the video they show the lady putting up the Save the Children charity. Then they go and give the children obesity and diabetes. But i'll be damned if I wasn't thinking about Denny's Reese's pie that whole time. Plus whenever i'm taking a ride on the turnpike there has to be a stop at the rest area with the Hardees. Unfortunately I coldn't tell you where a Denny's is without looking it up. Up yours Flagstar.

Compare this to Japan

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=19348

So many terrifying restaurants owned by the same company! I had no idea! Somehow, having learned this has made the world a colder place for me.

FlaaaaaHAA*AAAaaaaag staaar!

I have to wonder if anyone... ANYONE... ever actually thought these were a valuable method of training or motivating? I mean, several dozen people, at least, had a hand in making/singing/appearing in this. Did none of them sit back when it was all done and say "Hey guys... this is absolutely retarded. What were we thinking?"

Oh, god. Irvine is a city-sized corporate park. Also, I think I've eaten at that Carrow's. Seeing which chains they operate puts things in perspective.

Also, "It's like having a child hug your neck"! And the soaring falsetto right at the end. Damn.

I'm going to have this song played when we renew our wedding vows.

How do you sing this with an ounce of dignity, much less conviction? I doubt this guy got paid very much.

I think I've heard a grand total of two of these restaurants. Hmm.

This reminds me of nothing more than the Hip Soviet National Anthem video.

Slavsya otechestvo nashe svobodnoye.

Wow, all the crappy chains are owned by the same corporation. Shocking.

Another five stars for "FLAAAAAAAH-AAAAAGG-STAR!" right here