Rudolph=acceptable, but don't you dare call Christianity a religion.

America rules.

Full five stars for making me want to punch my computer monitor in less than twenty seconds flat, then wanting to punch it again for "If there is a hell, I'll just go there, I don't care."

Why can't people just play the "There is no heaven, hell, God, or the Devil, hell is other people, which is obvious to me now, death is what I'm worried about, and my time on earth is being wasted, so let me out of the van or I'm going to assume you want to keep me here, and I'll fight my way through you pair of brainwashed superstitious zombies while screaming at the top of my lungs." card, and be done with it.

I can't watch any of the people in this car without feeling revulsion.

From the documentary "Riding in Cars with Bumpkins"

"I respect people who stay true to their faith, just because they work at it blah blah blah" SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU PRETENTIOUS ASSHAT.

Hell is being stuck in a car with these guys for a cross country trip. Though I gotta admit "Christianity is not a religion" guy might be fun to down beers with.

I didn't see a goddamn thing wrong with beardo in the back. He is a wise man, and I wish that he was my grandpa in-law.

I didn't make it. Did anything good happen at the end?

1 star for every explosive device I wish were attached to the car

People In This Car, Ranked By Awesomeness:

Redneck Santa Claus
Louis Theroux
LEMME ASK YOU THIS ONE THING guy and Michael Ian Black are tied at the bottom - Michael Ian Black for being a pretentious fuckwad and Baseball Cap Guy for detesting Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Get the fuck out of here, you turds.

"If you accepted Jesus... that would be great."