"Who would have ever thought the picture would come to life?"

Well I sure as hell would have fucking not either, jesus christ. but I guess that's just another normal Monday at Shining Time Station.

Maybe I'm a racist, but I can't listen to Billy Twofeathers talking about 'injuns' without laughing.

George Carlin's magic dust

GEORGE CARLIN'S MAGIC DUST

alternative: seven words you can't say in a train station

Candy is dandy, BUT NEVER TO EAT, candy is dandy, FOR SMASHING WITH FEET.

After he caused all that trouble the first time you think the kid would have torn up the paper or burned it or something.

Don't listen to him, Karen! IT'S THE DEVIL!

-9:02: Will Mr. Conductor's evil twin show up during Batman R.I.P.?

Jesus kid, it doesn't take that long to clean up a few scraps of paper. Also, why does PBS force all guys on kids shows to wear plaid jackets?

Reinforcing the stereotype that all evil doppelgangers must speak in rhyming couplets.

I wish I had a bag of cheese snacks that big.

And then he killed Mr. Conductor. That's when the show jumped the shark.