No, that's why you're here.

I'm imagining this being said by himself in the third person.

"You call THAT a slipknot? That thing couldn't hold anything! It's no wonder that Philippino lady got away from you last week!

Now, what? Your going to slice off pieces of my sexual organs and keep them in a jar under the floorboards in your toolshed? Oh, REAL original! Don't you have any ideas of your own?"

In this video he delivers his soliloquy without his cap:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPFGLS27_xs

In this one he does it without his false teeth:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhDHVFlx-v4

In this video he dresses like a woman, hides his face, and seems to pretend to talk from behind a parrot:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQXOE7vIlGA&eurl=

Oh shit Rovin, you're serious...

Yup, totally serious. The sheer gratingness of the thing kept me from posting it to the hopper though.

Rovin: Would've been worth it just to utilize the "Psycho" tag.

Run with it if you want.

Speaking of Psycho, though... between the video I linked and Bill's constant mix of Loneliness drivel, serial killer empathy, and conpiracy nonsense, there's probably a pretty decent YouTube Norman Bates parody video waiting to happen...

I'll leave it for some go-getter.

Here is my only message to Bill, which he'll probably never read:

Bill, what's confusing you so much is choice. As if a woman ever were to approach you, you would have a choice to accept or reject her advances, so too does every woman on earth have a choice to reject you. This is because women are people too. As women are all individuals, and all make individual choices, they cannot collectively decide to throw you a pity hottie because you're so lonely. Even if they could, they probably wouldn't, because you're a creepy bastard and any intelligent girl thinking of dating you would have a brief yet vivid vision of being buried in your back yard. This is a good reason to leave you lonely for the rest of your life Bill, because let me put it in military terms. No one wants to put themselves in the line of fire.

It's true that if you were rich it'd be different. There is a certain unscrupulous breed called "most people" that will do practically anything for money. They would be willing to risk personal harm for a little piece of green. Maybe that's your only hope Bill, to attract women who know better, but feel the desire to roll the dice and hope they come away unscathed, and with some cash in the bargain. If you are not willing or able to take off the ballcap and mellow, or make some cash, then yes. You will die alone. And such a thing is right, and just.

If it hasn't happened yet then I don't think it ever will.

Yeah, I take it back, any TFLer is by nature too lazy. Damn though, it's still creepy and sad and cringe-inducing.

I'm kicking myself for not archiving the Pussy Renaissance rant.

I love how he thinks all the women killed by men in America are killed by serial killers. His whole argument is based on this.

Only 90% of the women are killed by serial killers. And I figure what he really means is that 90% of serial killers' victims are women, but the sentence construction got him in the trick bag.

Maintain.

Looking for TRUE LOVE, of course. Jeez, keep up to date with this shit, will you?!?