Incidentally, it boggles my mind how people can read insults and think that, because they have been insulted, they now have no freedom of opinion. You never had the freedom to not be called names, duder.
It is entirely possible to be a fatbeard yet physcially clean shaven. It's not about the facial hair so much as the attitude. You're "inner beard" so to speak.
Visibly winded from reaching under his desk? Try visibly winded as soon as he attempts to lean back on his chair. 4 stars, -1 for being 4 minutes too long.