It certainly explains a lot about the Royals general performance.
Sokia: Coach, can I flare out my closing pitch with a circle changeup or should I stick to fastballs straight to the ninth?
Brett: That reminds me of the time I sucked menstrual scotch out of a whore's pussy in Reno and contracted gastroenteritis. I was flying back home at 3am with brown underpants that started out white and my third wife was calling me as we landed. I had to tell her I wasn't coming home till the next day cuz of my shit pants and she thought I was having an affair-- so I told her I was rather than have her pick me up with shit pants. True story. What was your question?
I have tried numerous times to tell people "I shit my pants last night", just to see if they believe me, but I've never once been able to get it out with a straight face.
So does this explain why the Royals live in a ditch they dug underneath the basement of the AL? And if so, what the hell have the Mariners and Nats been doing in their pants?
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