Next on Hallmark channel 'The Day the Puppies Cried'.

So if retards could speak well, would they all be so imperious and theatrical? Bless this poor actors' soul, though, for obviously wanting this movie to be something more much important than it is.

Holy Courtney B Vance!

He's like a somehow less-subtle Benjamin Sisko.

I can't imagine anything in the movie preparing you for this.

Unless it's all this bad.

5 stars because the preload image is EXACTLY his expression when he utters the sacred words

"I am just, a simple man. But I simply am... oh, I appear to have shat my pants."

Edit this down to two seconds.

What? He was retarded, then he was not retarded but he said he was retarded, then he was retarded agian. WHAT THE EFF???

Never go full retard.

You can't do that, it's cheating.

I like to think it's not a trick of perspective, Senator Goodchild demands to have a 3 foot wide name-plate.

Also: dramatic entreaty directly into the camera lens.
"MESSAGE!"

I'm just a simple caveman. Your world frightens and confuses me...

Though limited in his mental capacities, retard man obviously is a big fan of Clarence Thomas.

HEY EVERYBODY! HE'S A PHONY! A BIG FAT PHONY!

so was he making fun of retarded oysters?

The rare, beautiful, and elusive Magical Retarded Negro.

I stood. There was a box in my face and I saw it. Luster was playing in the dirt. I said and I couldn't stop. I said to the box. Caddy smelled like trees. Caddy Caddy

Did Rod Serling write this?