"I don't think it would have happened if I had been in his life."
That's right, crazy bitch. Your kids are crazy because you were selfish. And also because of your genetics. And also because you gave them lots of sugary cereals when they were little.
Seriously though, regardless of how fucked up he is, if your family gave you an ultimatum that was basically:
"Either go to a gulag hellhole where you will possibly be raped by ex-addict counselors/guards and if you get sick you will almost certainly called a homo and ignored until dead because I am too stupid to put my money into a real treatment that at least has the barest bones government regulation behind it (the kind that would prevent the staff from a facility that was shut down by the police from simply crossing state lines and opening a new one with a different name) or I will never speak to you or support you again"