Does he realize that he is on the internet? This reminded me of the Silver Miner's Tale from American Astronaut.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8P5UPALOmQ

Twilight.

(Yes, I also watched the video)

i highly doubt they actually have girlfriends. maybe they're each others girlfriends?

Halfway through this video, I felt like I was gonna throw up. Not even Trent Reznor could save this video. So I stopped it, because all I was going to waste was time that I could be using to read a book or play Anal Cunt tracks in Audiosurf.
Two stars out of five.

This review was so bad I had to jack off.

Hambeast is a gender specific term, however this particular specimen could be easily confused for an authentic (female) hambeast, so you are forgiven.

Yeah like you have the energy to masturbate.

Also, cutting their hair would probably destroy the illusion of having girlfriends...they are so poor they can't afford wigs.

He looks like the kid in the beginning of the Tenacious D movie except way more homophobic and a lot less funny about it.