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This is one of the best things they've ever done, ever.
Five and a million.
The Onion needs more recurring characters. Bring this guy and Joad Cressbeckler back!
The Onion would run this into the ground if they made it recurring.
Okay, Onion, you've peaked! Stop now! It took you, what, ten years to get to this point? You don't want a slow slide to obsolescence.
As a comrade in our great society, I am particularly grateful with how the on-button is always on a different place on my computers. Praise be to our illustrious leaders for doing away with the imperialist and unharmonious typewriters!
I think the Onion has been working its way up to more satirical stuff. This is brilliance.