Our Hero, ladies and gentlemen, has a tough time catching someone on rollerskates with a motorcycle.

Starring James Remar as Cop-On-the-Edge, Nick Cassavettes as one of the thugs running a marijuana-farming operation in some logging town and helmed by the director of "Critters".

Moral of the story: Black people hate water.

Oh, that's why he's wearing that helmet.

I saw this in the theaters thank you very much.

To catch a single purse snatcher, he nearly kills dozens of innocent bystanders, destroys a flower shop's display, and knocks over a poor janitor's mop bucket. Yeah, some hero there.

That must have been some bunny hop he did over the train stalls... twice...

I like the completely different motorcycle they used to jump out of the subway.

And this is still better than 90% of the shit they dump into the theaters these days.

I remember thinking, after watching this on Encore the other night, that now the age-old question of motorcycle vs. rollerskate has been settled. I still await the following resolutions:

Moped vs. Segway
Rollerblades vs. Magic Elf Wings
This year I will lose weight vs. This year I will final succumb to obesity.

Finally, a hero for those of us whose asses were welded to our motorcycles in horrible repair-shop accidents.