Insemination.

Waste of my time, I thought I was going to see a hipster get his ass beat and what do I see? A couple of guys in their sisters low cut jeans hugging.

Fucking hipsters.

not much of a fight

come on, the chair guy was at least worth some points. also, when hipsters fight, no matter who loses, we win.

If I wanted to see two men hugging I could just go to JEW YORK CITY AND GET GAY MARRIED HUR HUR HUR.

this is not a fight, just 2 emos upset about mascara or something.

3 for the guy in the chair,

I'm going to give this an extra star because I believe the sheer girliness of it brings something to the table.

I've only been in one street fight and I'll tell you what I've learned it. REAL fights, of which this is not, consist of people beating the living shit out of each other, while having the shit beat of them. These kids obviously didn't want to fight, and instead felt obligated to act out what they thought fighting was.

In front of a Whole Foods

What the fuck? I've been ill for the past week and I could still take on both these fucks right now. You know why? Because I'm not built like an anorexic preteen with a heroin problem. That wasn't even a fight, let alone a "brawl". That was two skinny-armed deathcore internet assholes pawing each other. Pathetic.

I'm a bouncer and I could take these kids with both arms tied behind my back.

What's wrong with you people this is pathetically hilarious.

I just love Ghetto Professor X's part in all this, how he almost goes apeshit on the guy for touching him and then concedes and seems to take great pride in being wheeled away. And the creepy eerily silent crowd of average Americans looking on. If they had knives it could be some footage from the future of blood rituals carried out in the street to serve as a replacement for television.

Weak as hell.

They can't kick because their pants are too tight.

I am all in favour of trendy kids having hilarious fights but these two don't even want to hurt each other.

-2 of disappointment that they're not limp-wristedly slapping at each other and making girly 'ehhhh' noises.