only reminded me why I didnt submit the Andy Rooney Game. sure, hes pathetic, hes worthless, but he isnt really hilariously so. hes just an old bag of humorless brainfart who shouldnt be listened to, even if youre sat next to him at Christmas dinner.

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY THEY CALL IT TAKING A DUMP

YOU'RE REALLY LEEEEAVING A DUMP

Andy Rooney takes no prisoners and slaughters sacred cows. In your face, Girl Scouts! Your cookies are made FOR you, not BY you! Your waltz with the corporate elite of the confectionery world needs to be exposed!!~!@#

Hey, you got my boring in your asanine!

Hey, you got your asanine in my boring!

...Hey, this is fucking mediocre.

Man, fuck the haters. Andy Rooney is a cranky golem made of pure old and this is awesome.

To complete the proper "cranky elderly relative" image, he should deliver these from a living room set, hunched over in a recliner, wearing a sweater vest and polyester slacks, occasionally muttering something about those damn Japs.

FANNIE FARMER DOESN'T USE RIBOFLAVIN WHERE ARE MY SOCKS THEY DON'T USE FELT TO MAKE ROAST BEEF ANY MORE WHY CANT I DIE I ASKED THE LOCAL BOTANISTS AND THEY TOLD ME THAT MY CAMERA IS TOO LOUD AM I STILL ON TV

I'll bet a hundred dollars Andy Rooney's mom used vegetable shortening. MEANWHILE: oh God no! Added vitamins and minerals! Why can't we just have all the birth defects and pellagra like in the old days?

This just in: Old man likes, is confused by, cookies.

When POE hits it's first century, this is what it will look and sound like. Except we'll all be heads in jars like in Futurama.

RIBOFLAVIN

More old people need to stop caring about politics and start caring about cookies instead.

And why are they called "Girl Scout" cookies? I didn't see them listed on the ingredients. Why I would bet these cookies don't even contain 5% girl.

Andy Rooney talks like a slow retarded Jerry Seinfeld.

D'ja ever notice how sometimes the comments on these videos are good, and sometimes they're bad? Then, sometimes they're sort of a little good and a little bad. I find that, overall, I have no use for these comments and I'm sure that...they have no use for me. Once, I disagreed with someone in a comment and, for my trouble, they called me a faggot. I guess that says something about me, and maybe something about them. Maybe someone should comment on it.

HOW COME WHEN I PUT COOKIES I MADE IN A BOX AND SHIP THEM AROUND THE WORLD, THEY'RE HARD AND GROSS? GIRL SCOUT COOKIES ARE PRESERVED IN THEIR PACKAGING FOR MONTHS AT A TIME! NEXT TIME MY WIFE MAKES COOKIES FOR OUR GRANDCHILDREN AND I EAT THEM ALL, I'M GOING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT.

PS I AM OLD!

Which was the mst3k episode where they all did their impression of Andy Rooney at once?