Man, the old Doctor Who existed only to traumatize children. There were moments like this in nearly every serial, especially the early Tom Baker ones.

The biggest question on my mind is why they expected this virus to kill billions if the only way to contract it is to bury your face in a big pile of the culture and snarfle it? Everyone else in that room certainly seemed to be completely unconcerned with the fact that a vial full of genocide-virus just broke...

Minimalist, it's largely because this serial was stupid. There's a bit where a guy who thinks the aliens rescued him from a wrecked spacecraft years earlier - who thinks he lost an eye in that accident and wears an eyepatch - is convinced to go take the patch off in front of a mirror to see if it's true. Because, you know, apparently he's NEVER thought to look in a mirror or take the patch off in all that time.

Yes, this story was bad, but it did have its occasional good moments, like the cliffhanger to the first episode and The Doctor gleefully suggesting he and Sarah go to the pub.

You guys are seriously overthinking Dr. Who.

Well . . . clearly . . . the eyepatch had a perception filter placed on it.

Or maybe he was just thick.

I think you just answered your own question, man.