The fourteen seconds were just him saying, "So about breaking into the Watergate. We should do that. Get that handsome, virile sonofabitch Liddy to do it! God he's handsome and virile. His ass is like a peach. I'd like him to hold me in his strong, hairy arms and I'd just feel so safe." And then, you know, back to homosexuality on TV.

I was picturing something like "Its okay before you start dating girls, I mean every teenage boy has jerked off his best friend and gotten a good ass fucking. All in good fun!" followed by awkward silence or possibly a "that uh...that never happened to uh..."

he pretty much would have been Charles Nelson Reilly, based on this...

He really did corrupt and morally reprehensible the right fucking way, that's for sure. At least have a fascinating personality and some kind of intelligence to go behind it, you know? That's why Bush is the worst, because he was awful but also just a boring human being.

Yeah. The man was clearly an (evil) genius - he was working on spin and image management and all that shit for years before it was a common thing.

On the other hand: so paranoid he secretly recorded himself.

Yes there are still people who think Nixon was a fascinating figure, not just a socially- and emotionally-retarded homophobe and racist.

Nixon was a monster wearing a mask. Now it's just the mask.

THAT GODDAMN KENNEDY. WITH HIS BLUE EYES AND BLONDE HAIR AND MY SWEATY LIP. HE MUST'VE BEEN A FAG. HE MUST'VE.

He also seems to have an aversion to hot pants...hmmm...

I mean, there's obvious ones, like the Greeks. The Greeks were all fags, you know? The last six Roman emperors? Fags, right? And you know the popes, the popes are all fags, just a bunch of fairies, you know? Stonewall Jackson? The faggiest goddamned guy you could ever imagine! The Sphinx? A FAG. The moon? HUGE DOPE-SMOKING QUEER. It's the goddamnedest thing, really -- the moon is a fag.

You could tell the Moon was gay by the way we jammed that flagpole into it and it just took it like it was nothing. Not even a shudder or a groan. Now Venus, we'd have had her moaning like a bitch for some good ol' fashioned American pole. That's why we're never going back to the moon, that dope smoking faggot.

ps. For Norm MacDonald's take on it, http://youtu.be/R6RkbJizoOQ?t=5m17s
I think that's what Jeff Fries was referencing.

THIS IS WHAT FREE REPUBLIC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

Scorpion all sneaking NEA funding into the stimulus package, spearing it into Johnny Cage's throat.

Sorry, that was meant to be a reply to Spencer.

So he probably just outed some family member of his.

Perhaps, buried deep in some forgotten top secret government warehouse, somewhere, in an unmarked crate next to the Ark of the Covenant and alien mummies etc, lies an even more powerful weapon: a large reel of magnetic tape composed solely of the words, phrases, and comments censored from Nixon recordings, all spliced together into 3 straight hours of non-stop profanity, personal invective, international scandal, eldritch secrets, and scatological references not meant to be heard by the ears of man.