I think we all know what really happened here, lady. Someone must have slipped that monkey some MARIJUANA.

Beastiality!

My god, she's everything I imagined she would be.

(You shouldn't have tried to keep a goddamned chimp as a pet, lady.)

he was angry with her hanging out in bars all day sipping Bacardis and smoking Basics...that'll learn ya

"It's a tragedy on BOTH parts. For my friend, and for him and me."

Well, MOSTLY for her. Let's just start with that. You lost your pet monkey, he's dead, and she suffered injuries so horrifying that the surgeons needed counseling.

Balance.

2000 years from now Travis will be known as the Lawgiver, and every Feb. 16 monkeys will eat Xanaxs like candy and rip their human slaves limb from limb in his memory.

It'll be like Weasel Stomping Day.

As much as she's reviled, I can see this as a tragedy for her. I mean, the chimp was a stand-in for the people missing in her life and she had to stab him with a butcher knife. That's pretty intense. Plus, if I had the chance to keep a chimpanzee, I probably would. I would train it to attack people on command.

The best part of this was that while I was watching it, the first two Google ads that scrolled by the bottom of the video were "Order Xanax" and "Want to buy a chimpanzee?" No aaaaaaaand no.

Out fo curiosity, a "hot shot"?

Never bring a knife to a chimpanzee fight.

"He's never had anything but love. "

You forgot Wine ...

Xanax ...

Human Food ...

Television ...

Lack of Jungle to Live In ...

"Had you given him the Xanax?"

"Never! Never! Never! And, and, it was a friend that was here, he forgot it. And it wasn't a prescription. It wasn't anything."

An unnamed friend ... not a prescription ... not anything, huh?

On balance, it's probably more of a tragedy for your friend, missing her eyes, nose, fingers and jaw as she is.

Have they released post-attack pics of Chandra Nash?