NOT SAFE FOR WORK PERFORMED 90 YEARS AGO!

I am writing to you to discourse my emphatic pleasure with discovering this amply arousing nickelodeon. I have known in the past that such moving photography was displayed at such world fairs and I have long since been entrapped and enraptured by the subtle artistic nuances of those who control this new device called the motion picture camera.

I did discover however, that such prideful display of the nude female figure was kept hidden from public eye - and that upon further investigation I was later drawn to the underground periphery of erotic film when I was subjected to the question of whether I found a surreptitiously hidden deck of erotic playing cards and further interrogated as to whether I found them alleviating to my carnal and natural desires.

I do wish to thank Phineas and Theodore who introduced me to this field and would like to connote to the public at large who may read my open letter to the editor of your fine paper that we should not be afraid of the female form - lest we should rather embrace it. Suffrage has lead us to one step, and I have long felt that erotic nudity shall be the ultimate step for womankind across the fruited plain.

Sincerely,
Philo R. Wettlesworth, Sr.
Chairman of the Philadelphia Iron and Coal Board

The woman you're fapping to in this video is dead.

Ah geeze why didn't anybody tell me this was not safe for work! Um... that was a woman wasn't it... and she was naked? Because I'm pretty sure it was just a shrub next to that stream.

Chetham strike down this sordid heathenry, at once! How do I lay this luminous document on the lighting tablet? Confound this aberration of dancing boxes, where is that pilfering cicero I

GREAT GRAMMA HOW COULD YOU

In amongst all of this hoopla, nobody managed to deride the poster for the tags. I say, you mountebank! Fix your tags directly! Early 20th century sputtering and gibberish follows! Folderol!

The best part is that you could totally bullshit away getting caught viewing this at work. I mean, at this point it's no more porn than Renaissance art, you know? It's a kind of grainy image of a lady in diaphanous robes by a waterfall, and then you kind of sort of see a tit. There are banner ads for beach vacations that are racier than this.

I was totally with it until she cupped a hand and drank untreated stream water. Then I was five or six types of horrified.