If I ever invent a new drug, I'm going to call it Jesus.
"Jimmy's parents were distraught when they found Jesus in between his mattresses."
"Danielle first heard about Jesus from a friend on her high school softball team. Four years later, her pimp beat her to death for stealing Jesus behind his back."
"Two oddly dressed men were arrested today after attempting to coerce minors into accepting Jesus."
Weep for these six year old children, who in only four years will all be hopelessly addicted to crack. Thank God they're only on weed and shrooms now. But that innocence won't last.