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Desc:This is the most impressive business card I have ever seen. It is mine.
Category:Business, Fashion
Tags:American Psycho, arrogance, business card, it doesnt BELONG in a rolodex
Submitted:rev.dinosaur
Date:04/09/09
Views:7130
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Comment count is 69
Merzbau - 2009-04-09
My card is die-cut! My card is foil-stamped! My card is EMBOSSED!
SRP - 2009-04-09
I lost it at what comes immediately after that. This man is michael scott incarnate.

chumbucket - 2009-04-09
the lettering is something called "cillian rail"

IrishWhiskey - 2009-04-09
I was thinking more along the lines of Christian Bale.


voodoo_pork - 2009-06-29
That coloring's called "bone."

Gagnon II - 2009-12-13
Yes, but is it poly-bagged? Hologram cover? Does it come in four different variants with covers by four different flavor-of-the-month artists which can be assembled into a poster? Congratulations, you've got the marketing savvy of Image Comics circa 1995.

And that's terrible.

GusPlease - 2009-04-09
It's its own subtle way, this is the most evil video on this site by a longshot.
kelpfoot - 2009-04-09
This video is either parody or Scientology. There's no other explanation.

fatatty - 2009-04-09
The other explanation would be vanity-fueled egocentric hubris.

dementomstie - 2009-04-09
It seems to me like he's supposed to be giving a seminar on business, but all he wants to talk about is his stupid buisness card. I imagine that this is just two minutes of a 4 hour "Your Business Card Sucks" seminar.

Slumgullion - 2009-04-09
This guy is fantastic, he's like some marketing/real estate villain from a Carl Hiaasen novel.

CornOnTheCabre - 2009-04-10
I demand you to find ANYTHING subtle about this video.

mon666ster - 2009-04-09
25 years to design a pop-up book. Now that's results!
splatterbabble - 2009-04-09
What do you do guaranteed? Look like Kevin Trudeau?
kelpfoot - 2009-04-09
Good to see the American Psycho tag is already up.
zatojones - 2009-04-09
damn he's got me pegged. I guarantee NOTHING
kingofthenothing - 2010-05-17
Wrestling sure has gotten WEIRD.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2009-04-09
His entire life is a novelty beer mat in horrible colors.

http://www.webspores.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/photo-5. jpg

http://fletchergiglio.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/106709219 _6c8be9703b.jpg
Big Beef Burritos Supreme - 2009-04-09
http://tinyurl.com/bcrad1

http://tinyurl.com/bcrad2

dementomstie - 2009-04-09
the first two links come up with broken or missing pages on my computer, but the guy designed a card for Kevin Mitnik? That almost makes up for how much of an asshole he is. Wait no, no it doesn't.

dementomstie - 2009-04-09
Mitnick. I can spell. Honestly.

Wytze! - 2009-04-09
I want to be this man.
grimcity - 2009-04-09
That's not a card, it's a brochure.
The Townleybomb - 2009-04-09
Yeah, well MY business card is EMBOSSED on the HOOD of a CESSNA AIRPLANE. It won't FIT in your OFFICE because it doesn't BELONG in your OFFICE.
Kumquatxop - 2009-04-09
MY business card is SPRAYPAINTED onto a SIDEWALK. Even if they don't LIKE me, they're not going to THROW AWAY a sidewalk!!

voodoo_pork - 2009-04-09
MY business card is tattooed on my fucking FACE! It took my 25 years to design THIS face! If you PUNCH me, it's embossed!

Torture the Artist - 2009-04-09
Your business card is printed on shards of the TRUE CROSS using the BLOOD OF CHRIST. Looks like crap? IT IS CRAP.

Binro the Heretic - 2009-04-09
My business card cures cancer.

Blank_Slate - 2009-04-09
Oh YEAH?! Well, I don't even NEED a business card! I just take a CRAP ON THEIR FACE!

I like CUT RIGHT TO CHASE! ka-POW! HOWDY, GLAD TO MEET YA!

JUST LIKE THAT! AND even if they don't LIKE me, they'll never FORGET me. NEVER!

WHY? Because psychological scars last FOREVER! Call me a LIAR but I have YET to met ANYONE who forgets MY NAME AFTER I TAKE A CRAP ON THEIR FACE!

CAN YOUR FANCY CARD DO THAT? HUH? CAN IT?!






I DIDN'T THINK SO...

Hooker - 2009-04-10
My business card is a bouncer.

Xiphias - 2009-04-09
American Psycho 3 is pretty awesome.
Jefka - 2009-04-09
Who the fuck is this man, anyway?
zatojones - 2009-04-09
he doesn't owe you any explanations

Evilhead - 2009-04-09
My guess is that he makes and sells business cards for 4 bucks a pop.

manfred - 2009-04-09
Alex P. Keaton

Jefka - 2009-04-09
Or Billy Buttsex after his POETV ban, maybe.

boner - 2009-04-09
This is my business card. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My business card is my best friend. It is my life. My business card, without me, is useless. Without my business card, I am useless.
Tstyle - 2009-04-09
I feel so sorry for the children in those pictures.
boner - 2009-04-09
They came with the frames

fatatty - 2009-04-09
He doesn't have any children. His penis doesn't fit in a vagina because it doesn't BELONG in a vagina.

gorch - 2009-04-09
5 for fatatty.

Iakchos - 2009-04-09
25 years

what
Millard - 2009-04-09
A resoLEWtion
Lurchi - 2009-04-09
Stop mocking pentheus.
cognitivedissonance - 2009-04-09
What the fuck does he have against Strathmore? They make a great Bristol. 50 years of Edward Gorey's entire career can't be dismissed.
pastorofmuppets - 2009-04-09
Man I hate it when people give you weird sized business cards. Even the vertical ones are annoying.
bopeton - 2009-04-09
Me too I usually throw them out immediately, often while rolling my eyes at the fact that they expected me to think it was 'creative' to give me that shit.

Mayberry Pancakes - 2009-04-09
I'm going to ask HR if they can do this for me.
bopeton - 2009-04-09
25 years to design that? Sorry bro, not hired.
Jeff Fries - 2009-04-09
I haven't seen someone get that worked up over glossy paper since Howard Dean told Jon Stewart that he was going to save the DNC with these doorhangers
Jeff Fries - 2009-04-10
Also: how much of a loser control freak of a hustler do you have to be when you end every single one of your sentences with an ellipse so absolutely no one can get a word in edgewise

Phusis - 2009-04-09
Compare to http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=29406

Rude Dude would absolutely break this man's soul.
Foolish Motorcycle Accident - 2009-04-09
He reminds me of the six-minute abs guy from There's Something About Mary
Aoi - 2009-04-09
I spend 25 years designing a single business card! What do YOU do?
Robin Kestrel - 2009-04-10
Nice delivery but the card is meh. What does it shoot? Nothing? Oh. Oh, well, it's nice, I guess. But it's not a fucking CATAPULT.

http://www.instructables.com/id/Cardapult-the-Business-Card-Ca tapult/

rev.dinosaur - 2009-04-10
It gets better when you imagine that the jump cuts are there to remove footage of him blowing lines off the card.
zerobackup - 2009-04-10
The part he didn't show is how the little guy unfolds AGAIN to reveal his huge erect penis, y'know to impress ladies with.
William Burns - 2009-04-11
I'd hire him.
Jimmy Labatt - 2009-04-11
same

Charles - 2009-10-12
^^ The problem with the world of business

Oktay - 2011-12-05
I'd hire him to design business cards for my competitors.

GlennFinito - 2009-04-14
5 for comments all around

Also: pop-up book.
Camonk - 2009-04-17
The worst thing is he forgot to put his phone number on it.
Caminante Nocturno - 2009-05-01
If I got a business card from this guy, I would pick my teeth with it.

Right in front of him.

And then criticize its effectiveness at cleaning my teeth.
Cleaner82 - 2009-06-29
"What kind of worthless card is this, you can't even tear it."

That guy - 2012-03-06
What if your apprehension is your trepidation, then what?
Nikon - 2012-04-09
I want him to give that card to Carcrusher.
http://youtu.be/gCKjctTWIsw
Nikon - 2012-04-09
Cardcrusher god damn it.

FABIO - 2012-07-12
The adult version of handing in a fancy lamented school paper.
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