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Desc:This is the most impressive business card I have ever seen. It is mine.
Category:Business, Fashion
Tags:American Psycho, arrogance, business card, it doesnt BELONG in a rolodex
Submitted:rev.dinosaur
Date:04/09/09
Views:7130
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Comment count is 69
Merzbau
My card is die-cut! My card is foil-stamped! My card is EMBOSSED!
SRP
I lost it at what comes immediately after that. This man is michael scott incarnate.

chumbucket
the lettering is something called "cillian rail"

IrishWhiskey
I was thinking more along the lines of Christian Bale.


voodoo_pork
That coloring's called "bone."

Gagnon II
Yes, but is it poly-bagged? Hologram cover? Does it come in four different variants with covers by four different flavor-of-the-month artists which can be assembled into a poster? Congratulations, you've got the marketing savvy of Image Comics circa 1995.

And that's terrible.

GusPlease
It's its own subtle way, this is the most evil video on this site by a longshot.
kelpfoot
This video is either parody or Scientology. There's no other explanation.

fatatty
The other explanation would be vanity-fueled egocentric hubris.

dementomstie
It seems to me like he's supposed to be giving a seminar on business, but all he wants to talk about is his stupid buisness card. I imagine that this is just two minutes of a 4 hour "Your Business Card Sucks" seminar.

Slumgullion
This guy is fantastic, he's like some marketing/real estate villain from a Carl Hiaasen novel.

CornOnTheCabre
I demand you to find ANYTHING subtle about this video.

mon666ster
25 years to design a pop-up book. Now that's results!
splatterbabble
What do you do guaranteed? Look like Kevin Trudeau?
kelpfoot
Good to see the American Psycho tag is already up.
zatojones
damn he's got me pegged. I guarantee NOTHING
kingofthenothing
Wrestling sure has gotten WEIRD.

Big Beef Burritos Supreme
His entire life is a novelty beer mat in horrible colors.

http://www.webspores.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/photo-5. jpg

http://fletchergiglio.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/106709219 _6c8be9703b.jpg
Big Beef Burritos Supreme
http://tinyurl.com/bcrad1

http://tinyurl.com/bcrad2

dementomstie
the first two links come up with broken or missing pages on my computer, but the guy designed a card for Kevin Mitnik? That almost makes up for how much of an asshole he is. Wait no, no it doesn't.

dementomstie
Mitnick. I can spell. Honestly.

Wytze!
I want to be this man.
grimcity
That's not a card, it's a brochure.
The Townleybomb
Yeah, well MY business card is EMBOSSED on the HOOD of a CESSNA AIRPLANE. It won't FIT in your OFFICE because it doesn't BELONG in your OFFICE.
Kumquatxop
MY business card is SPRAYPAINTED onto a SIDEWALK. Even if they don't LIKE me, they're not going to THROW AWAY a sidewalk!!

voodoo_pork
MY business card is tattooed on my fucking FACE! It took my 25 years to design THIS face! If you PUNCH me, it's embossed!

Torture the Artist
Your business card is printed on shards of the TRUE CROSS using the BLOOD OF CHRIST. Looks like crap? IT IS CRAP.

Binro the Heretic
My business card cures cancer.

Blank_Slate
Oh YEAH?! Well, I don't even NEED a business card! I just take a CRAP ON THEIR FACE!

I like CUT RIGHT TO CHASE! ka-POW! HOWDY, GLAD TO MEET YA!

JUST LIKE THAT! AND even if they don't LIKE me, they'll never FORGET me. NEVER!

WHY? Because psychological scars last FOREVER! Call me a LIAR but I have YET to met ANYONE who forgets MY NAME AFTER I TAKE A CRAP ON THEIR FACE!

CAN YOUR FANCY CARD DO THAT? HUH? CAN IT?!






I DIDN'T THINK SO...

Hooker
My business card is a bouncer.

Xiphias
American Psycho 3 is pretty awesome.
Jefka
Who the fuck is this man, anyway?
zatojones
he doesn't owe you any explanations

Evilhead
My guess is that he makes and sells business cards for 4 bucks a pop.

manfred
Alex P. Keaton

Jefka
Or Billy Buttsex after his POETV ban, maybe.

boner
This is my business card. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My business card is my best friend. It is my life. My business card, without me, is useless. Without my business card, I am useless.
Tstyle
I feel so sorry for the children in those pictures.
boner
They came with the frames

fatatty
He doesn't have any children. His penis doesn't fit in a vagina because it doesn't BELONG in a vagina.

gorch
5 for fatatty.

Iakchos
25 years

what
Millard
A resoLEWtion
Lurchi
Stop mocking pentheus.
cognitivedissonance
What the fuck does he have against Strathmore? They make a great Bristol. 50 years of Edward Gorey's entire career can't be dismissed.
pastorofmuppets
Man I hate it when people give you weird sized business cards. Even the vertical ones are annoying.
bopeton
Me too I usually throw them out immediately, often while rolling my eyes at the fact that they expected me to think it was 'creative' to give me that shit.

Mayberry Pancakes
I'm going to ask HR if they can do this for me.
bopeton
25 years to design that? Sorry bro, not hired.
Jeff Fries
I haven't seen someone get that worked up over glossy paper since Howard Dean told Jon Stewart that he was going to save the DNC with these doorhangers
Jeff Fries
Also: how much of a loser control freak of a hustler do you have to be when you end every single one of your sentences with an ellipse so absolutely no one can get a word in edgewise

Phusis
Compare to http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=29406

Rude Dude would absolutely break this man's soul.
Foolish Motorcycle Accident
He reminds me of the six-minute abs guy from There's Something About Mary
Aoi
I spend 25 years designing a single business card! What do YOU do?
Robin Kestrel
Nice delivery but the card is meh. What does it shoot? Nothing? Oh. Oh, well, it's nice, I guess. But it's not a fucking CATAPULT.

http://www.instructables.com/id/Cardapult-the-Business-Card-Ca tapult/

rev.dinosaur
It gets better when you imagine that the jump cuts are there to remove footage of him blowing lines off the card.
zerobackup
The part he didn't show is how the little guy unfolds AGAIN to reveal his huge erect penis, y'know to impress ladies with.
William Burns
I'd hire him.

Charles
^^ The problem with the world of business

Oktay
I'd hire him to design business cards for my competitors.

GlennFinito
5 for comments all around

Also: pop-up book.
Camonk
The worst thing is he forgot to put his phone number on it.
Caminante Nocturno
If I got a business card from this guy, I would pick my teeth with it.

Right in front of him.

And then criticize its effectiveness at cleaning my teeth.
Cleaner82
"What kind of worthless card is this, you can't even tear it."

That guy
What if your apprehension is your trepidation, then what?
Nikon
I want him to give that card to Carcrusher.
http://youtu.be/gCKjctTWIsw
Nikon
Cardcrusher god damn it.

FABIO
The adult version of handing in a fancy lamented school paper.
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