Once was enough, thank you.

I bet whoever shot this video was a man.

I want to eat it more now.

A scallop named Miggs.

It gots a purty mouth.

Shellder, use Bubble Beam!

NSFW if your boss is a bivalve.

I feel like Curly.

Good shot! But I'm afraid you'll have to do better than that against my ball peen

Scallops are now on my list of animals that are nature's perfect, unfeeling, merciless, killing machines that I shouldn't feel guilty about preying on and eating. Right next to beach tourists.

WOULDYA LIKE A (SQUEEZE) *pearl* - (SQUEEZE) *GASP *PEARL* - (SQUEEZE) *NECKLACE* - guhh (POIT POIT POIT POIT)

gah-SHPLURT ... yooohoooa!

would be five stars without the 10 seconds of black titles before and after the actual content.

For some reason I was certain the scallop was going to jump and gum the shit out of the cameraman.

I felt let down.