Everything about this is perfect, including the titles.

Kind of lagged for a bit, but it really kicks in toward the end.

I'm confused.
Was I sleeping? Am I awake?

Wow.

I literally JUST woke up from the most psychotic violent dream ever.

Being awake for a lobotomy, wactching sentient chains writhe and constrict around poor fucks (no hellraiser hooks, just evil chain squshing).

Shit, even superman made an appearance when he impaled some chick on a track lightning bracked on the ceiling.

I swear to god, last night's dream was fucking weird.

My favorite Onion skit yet. And by the way, I'm totally in favor of graphic dreams. They're better then any blockbuster, only you can't remember much of them afterward.

I know someone who would be severely damaged by this. I should link it to them.

Motherfuckin' spiders.

This thing has such a perfect arc to it. The Onion at its best.

their videos are miles above their articles

I was really shocked when I learned Charles Durning is writing all of these.

Duncan Birch
Author, 'Time Snake'

You guys remind me of the yip yips.

"I hate The Onion."
"So unfunny."
"Went on way too long."

Then, later:

"Brilliant clip."
"Yeah, The Onion is funny as hell."
"Totally agree."
"Please validate me as well."

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=33153

no matter how many times i see it, it makes me laugh so much