These are for you.

he just wants to take a purdy woman out to eat some french fried potaters ummhmmm

God yes. This isn't even close to the most pathetic one of these things I've seen.

The very normal-appearing man who started to get sexually aroused as he exactingly described his fetish for being wrestled into submission by a short, swarthy guy...that was pretty pathetic.

My favorite was the effeminate fatty man tits who wanted a good looking guy, horseback riding, and long walks on the beach.

Lazy? He builds pallets, you asshole. He also drives a forklift and will do whatever else you need doing. Sounds like a fucking dynamo of activity to me, but oooooh he didn't go to a fancy fuckin' indoor school with plumbin' so this fancy bitch says he's lazy.

Fuck you and your starched shirts and your fuckin' lacy cuffs that conceal the scented handkerchief you hold up to your nose to block the odors of the working man.

also he is appealing through dating on demand!

that means hes looking for someone real this time, someone who has extended cable looking for him.

sure, he could go to his local bars but he knows all the women there. he knows their stories and the fact they just want him for his hog.

but he longs for that girl who isnt going to compare his hog with other hogs. no, no...he NEEDS that about her.

I was thinking the same thing.

It took me a minute to be sure that was a lock of hair coming out of the bandanna, and not a surgery scar.