"He finds the four cool kids in the same parking garage, who after finishing off a half a pound of weed and a fifth of scotch, are only barely too torn up to ride their skateboards well. That's it. I'll tell you right now, if I washed a bag of pot down with a bottle of scotch, I couldn't even identify a skateboard if you put it next to a pile of fish." - Seanbaby, Internet Genius

"your body is like a spaceship, and drugs like booze and pot are enemy spacecraft out to destroy you. They're full of aliens, alien chemicals."

"Ethanol, a chemical so lethal, it will burst into flames if you put a match to it."
The headband musical number was unbearable.

Drugs will corner you on a stage and try to feel you up.

I watched this whole series in my 6th grade health class. Homeboy gets to hang out with heroin and cocaine a lot more in the later episodes, and seeing that little fat fuck get all wasted will always bring me joy.

I still find myself singing the headband jam a decade later.

This just screams "Directed by Shelley Duvall"!

That headband song is the worst thing he's done since "I Never Talk to Strangers."

Thanks, Today in History!

We actually watched this during DARE week when I was in 5th Grade, and I actually unironically liked it!

Hey, I grew up extremely sheltered in the middle of Bumblefuck, Nowhere, waddaya expect?