Since Portland has no major league sports, I find myself involuntarily following the Seattle Mariners. Our city explodes every other day from April to September too for some reason, can't quite figure out the connection

Yeah, this is about as sad as the mariners.
As soon as his contract is up he's going to pull an A-Rod.
It's nice that Griffey is back though. Even though he is obviously taking a lot of steroids.

Four stars. Yeah, its retarded, but it's also the first thing about the Mariners I've seen that doesn't involve fucking rally fries. They hype that shit any higher and its going to be an irish nine course meal out on the diamond. Ain't like their record is gonna change.

I mean other than that one post-game show that was a sloppy Ken Griffey, Jr blowjob. That don't count.

Ah well. There's always the Rainiers.