"Thanks For voting! You tipped the scales"

:D

I had no idea this site still existed.

Oh yes. It exists, and its even worse than you imagine. Studios now grease Harry Knowles, and his reviews of terrible movies now hinge on how many trips to the craft service table he gets.

He supposedly had lap band surgery a little over a year ago. How the hell is even possible for him to still be that fat?

you don't have to walk when you're the king of the beard-o's

Consistently the most awful movie reviews on the Internet.

The body is merely the vessel of the beard.

Is he fat from being in a wheelchair or in a wheelchair because he's fat?

heh. a classic fatty wheelchair.

was he the one that reviewed batman like it was a blowjob?

That was a pretty awesome move with the left turn spin. He could've dislocated his arm.

If he just shaved he wouldn't need the wheelchair anymore.

Once again, I would like to draw everyone's attention to Harry Knowles' Blade 2 review:

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/11793

Now that you know what he looks like, just keep a mental image of him in your mind as you read this.

Another reminder, this is also the guy who wrote an article on his website about how HAWT the cheerleader character in Heroes is because since her power is healing, it means that she remains a virgin no matter how many times you fuck her.

Also, he was also one of the people Ebert "tried out" for at the movies before settling on Roeper. That was a sad week.

I thought he was a scooter fatty, not a wheelchair fatty, because wheelchairs actually require you to exert yourself.

Anyway, fat, fat, fat.

His caricature makes him look...skinnier?!?!?

Five stars for the BBW personals ad at the top of the page.

I used to read Ain't It Cool News back in the mid 90s when Knowles ran it as a hobby apart from his business of selling nerdy movie memorabilia at conventions. As the site become more popular it was actually possible to see him fall in love with himself. When he got all that attention from Joel Schumacher claiming his site was responsible for people not liking Batman & Robin his ego swelled greatly. When he got to be in The Faculty it exploded. He just couldn't stop talking about all his new bestest Hollywood buddies like Elijah Wood and Robert Rodriguez (then both pretty minor celebrities) and how The Faculty was gonna be so wicked awesome (it wasn't). I sort of stopped reading after that, although I'm sort of curious if his peripheral and fleeting relationship with Wood continued to be mentioned after Lord of the Rings came out. I can easily see him dropping that name on his cadre of nerds for some easy megacred.

I am literally crying from laughter from this.

According to the staff at the Alamo Drafthouse, during his 24-hour film marathon Knowles just pissed in his chair all day instead of going to the bathroom.

Legendary

Still a disgusting mess after all these years. Ugh, his skin.

all of the above comments get my 5 star but I also need to add that "best around" makes everything worth watching. Caught myself belting it out to myself around the house the other day.

It's like watching the Baron Harkonnen

I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a straight... razor... and surviving.

don't make fun of him, he defeated joel schumacher

Don't be fooled. He's fully capable of self-locomotion. He's just THAT LAZY.

They should have used "Man in Motion" by John Parr.

Is this where we share disgusting Harry Knowles anecdotes?

During a talk at my college he claimed he had a phone conversation with some director while the director was fucking Fiona Apple. As if anyone could maintain an erection while talking to Harry Knowles.

I had never heard of this person, but thank god I have now so I can never hear of them again. Also, Blade 2 sucked out loud in a bad way, but the making of special feature on the DVD is a great movie. Just consider the film the throwaway bonus feature on that one.

He gets all his exercise from the animated GIFs on his page.

I'm actually not going to comment on the poor physycal shape this man has. That would be unfair and of really bad taste.

His site? Fuck that shit, it sucks, it sucks so hard. He's the ultimate "film critic" film nerd parasite/stereotype that could would make the comic book guy from the Simpson reconsider his life.

Check out his photo on Wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Knowles

There is a hair-gap between his neckbeard and chest muff.

Commenting to be seen! Best comments of the year!

When he was young his spine was damaged by a runaway cart full of movie memorabilia, which is a bit like how Magneto got started.

Ebert likes him.

:(

Hey, if you tipped his chair over, would he make manatee noises?