It sounds like Kanye West.

Honestly, I've heard more interesting songs built into cheap keyboards as their demo.

I used to shave without water all the time when I was in a hurry to get to class or whatever. If you use a perfectly-new blade it works pretty well, although the blade gets much duller much faster. I don't recall it ever causing more injury than a bit of a rash.

I would imagine that it depends on how coarse your hair is.

I used to dry shave a lot, too. I wouldn't recommend it unless you need to do it, but it's not as bad as many people think.

I used to be able to if I was feeling lazy but it got to where I'd just cut myself just thinking about it.

I feel the same way. It's like the worst trainwreck in the world somehow finds a way to wind up time and then happen again, only worse.

Very, very slowly? It's not like he's shaving in a hurry to get to work in the morning or something.

I think his skin is so greasy he doesn't need shaving cream.