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Desc:Another dumb 'action' sequence from this mess.
Category:Classic Movies
Tags:vampire, puberty, ultraviolet, written by a 13 year old, milla jovovich
Submitted:Riskbreaker
Date:09/08/09
Views:1536
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Movie Title
Something to do with Shrek
Comment count is 29
MovieCritic
0:55 - "Oh god what have I done?!"
Cleaner82
You forgot to mention that people are screaming.
minimalist
Look, if you want a video where a willowy vampiress wearing shades and all dressed in white with an exposed midsection uses swords to kill a roomful of guys in white wearing helmets and gasmasks and they're NOT screaming, you'll have to look somewhere else, you goddamn sicko.

Baldr
There's an aerial shot of one of the research facilities in this movie, and it's shaped like a biohazard sign. I can't think of a more retarded use of symbolism in any movie.
HankFinch
Milla's movies pretty much suck.
But she is hot... and she is now my girlfriend
because I said so.
Crucifried
We have swords and gas masks and no idea why we have either of those things.
MovieCritic
Thank god we've been standing by these pillars all day! Time to earn that paycheck boys!

Camonk
Now, let's try REALLY HARD not to kill each other, like the guys with guns di--GOD DAMMIT! BILL! Just, god dammit you guys!

Riskbreaker
I also like how the uniforms of the guards change color for no other reason besides "because the director thinks it looks cool and matches the walls".

Caminante Nocturno
In most of the fight scenes involving guns, the bad guys completely forget how guns work and run up to hit her with them.

Also, rock candy appears to be a commonly material for armor.

BHWW
Or, judging by other scenes in this film, body armor is made out of delicate fine china in the future.

StanleyPain
You know, Equilibrium wasn't a masterpiece or anything, but to come from that to THIS is pretty fucked up.
memedumpster
I think this movie exists as part of the Equilibrium Fan Club Agenda, because compared to this thing, Equilibrium really was a masterpiece. It could be argued that this makes Catwoman look good.

Kurt Wimmer directed this piece of crap, a fact Uwe Boll should be proud of.

Riskbreaker
This guy, Kurt not Uwe, was considered to direct the live action Metal Gear Solid movie. I shit you not, then again, Kojima hired Ryuhack Kitamura to direct the cutscenes of Twin Snakes, so, no surprises there.

Rape Van Winkle
In the future they realize sword-handles are for pussies.
hornung
After watching these two fight scenes I finally realized why the old kung fu movies always had one person attack at a time.
More than one person attacking a good guy just leads to too much friendly fire.

zatojones
These guys need to be taught the strategy of the dogpile

Caminante Nocturno
Please kill us in a manner that does not stain our white uniforms with blood.

Thank you.
BornAgainCannibal
Saw this in the theaters. Laughed so much a woman who came with her adolescent asked us to be quiet and laugh only at the parts that were funny. She did not understand the entire thing was hilarious.
Caminante Nocturno
My friend and I went in with the intention of riffing the Hell out of this film, and nothing was going to stop us. As we approached the film's climax, the only other person in the theater eventually left in a huff and complained to the management. They did not even threaten to kick us out.

theSnake
lol riffing on a movie in public looool

memedumpster
Etiquette demands that you at least ask "Does anyone mind if we talk about this movie?" You'd be surprised how many audiences of movies that really suck are suddenly relieved to be able to bash it in the theater. It can turn a shitty movie experience for dozens of people into something fun.

Caminante Nocturno
Etiquette can kiss my firm, well-tanned ass.

sosage
They should take a note from the gun guys and run up, surround her and point their swords at her face.
whensaidthemoon
Wilhelm Scream. Also known as "man being eaten by an alligator."
Still the best performance in this entire movie.

kelpfoot
Does anyone know the name of the stock scream at :54?
Meatsack Jones
I am still trying to figure out, what's wrong with any hot chick killing people in leathers with a sword?
Walt Henderson
Leathers? These guys are wearing like polyester or something. I smell D&D on you.

Anyway, putting aside my admittedly low opinion of the "hot chick with sword" concept, this is just really, REALLY badly done.

Lies, lies, LIES!
This movie had a confusing number of ass shots for a star with no booty.
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