please finish the description.

I look forward to playing this in a terrible bar.

So, which one of them is Cabela? Is that the name of the character I'm playing?

Am I playing an elf?

GO INTO NATURE

KILL EVERYTHING

Also after "It doesn't get any better than this" I expected a cut to a scene of the two of them buttfucking. Didn't you?

I didn't know rednecks had "vitals vision." You'd think they'd be more prone to see through bras or something.

These games fucking suck, too. My ex girlfriend's family were huge redneck dumbshits who ate these up like candy, so I played plenty of them. They're like mid-90s era FPS engines with a little more sophistication and paint and wide open spaces. You can choose all sorts of pointless garbage like what kind of clothes to wear and what gear to bring (even though NONE of it has ANY effect on anything) and then you just hunt animals in this awkward, retarded way. In the advanced mode, you have no way of knowing where the animals are; i.e. there are no gameplay mechanics to simulate tracking game. On the easier modes animals are on the radar or tracked for you and you just go up and shoot them. Some of them react mildly realistically, but not by much. That's basically it. The ones about "DANGEROUS ANIMALS" are identical only the animals come at you like FPS enemies and there are apparently a half-dozen different types of predators all living in the same square mile of forest.

Just read the plot descrption for one of these games on Wikipedia.

It casts you as a "world famous big game hunter" whose best friend is killed by a bear. Like an inbred Batman, he swears to take revenge by destroying nature forever. Then you go through a bunch of levels where your goal is to kill a different mildly threatening animal. Watch out, moose! I'm guessing this all culminates in a final showdown with that bear in his secret volcano island headquarters.

Minus three stars for this not being 'Cabela's INDOOR adventure' where two drunk jerks rack up free Cabela swag by shooting the shit of Cabela's awe-inspiring extensive in-store stuffed animal dioramas.

What is your favorite videogame, POETV user?

It doesn't matter. Cabela's Outdoor Adventure 2010 will make more money and sell more copies.


Unless you said, like, Starcraft or Mario or something, in which case MAN FUCK YOU I WAS TRYING TO BE EDGY AND MAKE A STATEMENT ABOUT THE VIDEO GAME MARKET HERE YOU DICK.

the hidden "Hot Coffee" like segment of this game is gonna be awkward

comments

Bonding

Halfway through the game you find yourself playing russian roulette in vietnam.

One of my friends parents has a wii, and they got a Cabela's hunter game for it (don't remember which one.) My friend and I actually got some fun out of it. If you kill an animal that isn't in season, you get a warning about it, do it 3 times and it's game over. That counter resets at each checkpoint, so we'd kill off a pair of endangered species, kill the thing we're supposed to, hop across a small creek, and the wildlife preserve will give us 2 more free endangered species kills again. Good times.

Also, that game had boss fights. I'm not even kidding.

Told you this shit was fucked up. But, like those plastic fishes you hang on the wall that sing a song, there will always be a market until we drop the bombs.