Craptacular.

Kill kill kill kill.....

So how are we supposed to rate things like this? It's terrible in every way, so five, but it's also not the slightest bit interesting, so one.

This film tells two big lies:

1. That adorable, single Natalie Portmans exist.

2. New Jersey is not covered in garbage bags.

I liked it. The movie not the trailer.

I guess that makes me a faggot.

Jesus Christ, I hated absolutely everything about this stupid goddamned movie.

Its power to engage people whose opinions I once trusted is undeniably evil, however, so...5 stars.

Zach Braff will never not be 5 stars worth of evil. Ugh.

Not only did I regret paying to see this, but I basically associate Zach Braff's face with a negative opinion now 100% of the time. It's impossible for me to watch anything he's in and enjoy it because of how much I disliked this movie.

Great use of armor at 0:58

i hate this loaf of fuck so much

ugh
fuck this goddamned decade

Garden State has become the movie that is cool to hate. It's not as bad as everyone claims.

akdfjaoifjasodf i hated this

and queen queen avacado face needed to shut up throughout most of the movie

FIVE EVIL STARS FOR REMINDING ME OF COLLEGE

This was a truly awful, overhyped piece of garbage. Five stars for the "evil".

Also, Garden State seems to prove my rule of thumb that no movie which features a scene where a man and woman lie fully clothed inside an empty bathtub and have a "heartfelt" talk is any good.

I thought it was a cute little hipster set piece until Natalie Portman showed up in a retard helmet and aligator suit and turned it into this wispy trying-to-hard almost love story type thing.

If the whole movie was just Zack Braff and Peter Sarsgard hanging around being kind of whimsically mopey - that could've been great, like a male Ghost World or something. Unfortunately, that's not what we got.

oh come on. the first 20 minutes of Garden State -- until Natalie Portman enters -- is hilarious. Peter Saragard and his mom, the party scene, the Asian restaurant, etc. the rest is too syrupy.

The Sundance people have always struck me as very easily impressed.

Is this why Zach Braff doesn't get to be in movies anymore?

I liked the soundtrack a lot, and there were some trippy visuals, but y'all are right about everything else.