Up until the late 90s, this was pretty much what every console port looked like compared to the arcade version.

Epilepsy Bros.

looks painfully unfun

even the music is slow. wow.

Prolly easier to control than New Super Mario Bros. Wii, where everything is on wiggle vision.

I've definitely watched too many of the sadistic mario game hacks. I kept expecting each new screen flip to reveal a series of enemies or pits that would require tedious amounts of dying and retrying to find the exact location to be onscreen to survive.

Between the epilepsy happy flashing in this and the music of the Castlevania port for DOS, I'm starting to wonder if early PC ports were an exercise in combining popular platformers with the physical assault of one of the gamers five basic senses.

At least Mario's shirt is now the right color for someone in his profession.

Thank you Mario!
But our Princess is on a better computer!

Proof that your parents hate you.

So is the genre just "2D side"?

What video games in hell must be like.

There are times I wish I could to back in time to some earlier part of my life. Then I start up an emulator and see how crappy computers and technology was back then and I'm glad I'm in the era I'm in now.

I like how this devolves into a tutorial for level 1-1 of SMB. As if it's not burned into everyone's cortex. He even calls out the shit he misses lest we think he's not a true gamer.