He drinks a case of Budweiser and then pisses on Andy, who's painted to look like the Canadian flag.

The Canadian flag loves it.

He just lets loose on NBC - over and over again.

He does funny, awesome things that you bunch of mud-hut-dwelling foreigners couldn't possibly wrap your cocoa-nut heads around.

You can keep your socialized medicine and oil deposits, we'll keep our short TV clips with limited advertisements.

Faghorn, I always assume Americans spend their free time peeing on each other.

Thanks, Muddy Mae.

your boss made a huge mistake in promoting you because you were bad at your new job and he had to humiliate himself to his own bosses by admitting he fucked up royally by getting rid of the guy who used to have your job? and you were faced with the tough decision of being demoted but still being paid your inflated salery or taking a new job and accepting a multi-million dollar payout from your old employer? and by talking shit about your company you were possibly jeopardizing the multi-billion dollar deal they were currently involved in?

damn son you're quite the mover and shaker

If you like Conan, he's doing a great job. You honestly think Jay fucking Leno is funny? What are you doing here?

I don't know about his clothes making him look like a fuckface so much as flamingly gay.

Nothing abeli$con has ever said on poetv has been worth a damn.

His job is to make us wonder why he is here.

Holy shit you'r retarded Abe. You think leno is funnier than conan? This makes me bill hicks enraged. I LIKE LENO CAUSE I'M A FUCKING CUNT!

Then you will never see a robot using a toilet.

Or a Masturbating Bear wearing a diaper.

Or a wax replica of Tom Cruise and The Fonz fired out of a cannon.

Cone Bone.

Works fine for me, crybaby.

Boo fucking hoo.

Somehow, the tears stay sweet.

yeah, those delicious tears of 'hey it doesn't work'.

Delicious maple-flavored tears. Mmm.

my stars, take them

Vinnie Jones IS Conan O'Brien

Tell them about the internet.