This is sad, like the Chinpokomon episode of South Park.

Worst news video coverage of perhaps the lamest meme to date.

Cause you know, pirates aren't played out.

If Maru could speak he would sound like Toshiro Mifune in Seven Samarai. Fool!

Maru does not need you to speak for him, news person. Maru's actions speak for him.

maru only says things like: "I want to enter this gap!" or "I am interested in only a juicy story."
those are real quotes too just check his website.

I'm pretty sure this isn't what Maru's owner had in mind as an alternative when he turned down an interview.

That voice is ear-poison. It's also ear-rape. It's ear-rape with a poison-spewing penis. Ear-penis. The wheels are really coming off this metaphor.

And here are some late breaking news: chubby kid lip-syncs to Moldovan pop song!

I've decided that if Maru has any internal dialogue when he's on-screen, he's composing refutations of the philosophy Friedrich Nietzsche in his head.

Stop anthropomorphizing me. Stop!
STOP IT!!

That is not Maru's voice.

It is also the worst of all possible voices.



But the picture of Maru as a kitten is notable as his head is exactly the same--only the body has changed.

Terrible, terrible voiceover. But five for Maru anyway.

Hey Mr. Terrible, Terrible Announcer, you'd best not take any of Maru's stars. They're his.

Jim Davis came back from the dead, watched this, went back in time, created Garfield, broke the space time continuum, and now here he is (back from the dead again) voicing Maru cat through the bubble of his self-inflated ego.

Fuck you, Jim Davis. I will not have this tainted.

Ten-thousand stars for Maru, -9,995 stars for the voiceover. It was just so damn, what's the word I'm thinking of here. It was just too damn corny, really. Like something you'd hear during a really podunk local TV station's news broadcast, one of those "Now on the lighter side!" segments at the end.