Bozo My parents got divorced on Christmas because my dad wouldn't come home for Christmas and called up to tell us he was doing cocaine with an Asian stripper who he was cheating on my mom with. (true story) 5 stars for beating my Christmas story.
memedumpster After Bozo's story, I can't think of anything cheerful to say. Five for the clip?
Spike Jonez For some reason, I had always remembered this as a true story and not having seen it in Gremlins. When I finally rewatched it, I was convinced they stole the story from someone I went to school with.