THIS IS WHAT BLACK PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE.

That first revolver seemed alright. The kind of gun you can befriend. A drinking buddy.

People that hear voices probably shouldn't have guns, yeah.

Intelligent weapons are always a pain in the ass in the long run.

Incidentally, I would have watched Richard Pryor : Gun Whisperer, like it was religion.

This happens to me when I go out for Thai food.

"You're gonna love me, I have all the spice and noodles you crave, but the heartburn you get at 3am will have you remembering me for days to come!"

"Oh no, not me, I've been in this steam tray all day and no one wants me. If you have me now, it'll just end in misery for the both of us."

"Hey, big boy, I'm new here and I like the way you look. Would you like to have a taste? I'm vegan and so delicious. In two hours you'll be hungry for more."