That's not an insult, it's a threat!

It's a promise. A sexy promise. The spring likes to be demeaned, first.

Oh, don't we all?

Him and Errol Flynn used to go on the pull together. He once got caught in a foursome with Betty Boop, Mae West and an eiderdown pillow. Never wore pants, ever, said it was just a waste of time, and had it written into his contract that he could appear on film like that. He went through starlets like there was no tomorrow and kept three abortionists on retainer. Even so there was an epidemic of duck-billed, web-footed children. Egg-births. Big scandal in the 40s. Mixed-race sex, unacceptable in those days. Warnings from the Ku Klux Klan and various small-town morality groups. Headline in Variety: 'Dux Fux Sux - Klux'. He snorted his own body-weight in coke every day before breakfast and washed it down with a quart of whiskey. Completely lost it in the end, got delusions of grandeur and tried to force Disney to let him star in a version of Leda And The Swan. Instead was sacked, ended up in pantomime playing Mother Goose, hit the skids, eventually shot to death in a motel room over gambling debts. He was the forgotten duck of American comedy until the late 1950s when people like Lenny Bruce and Mort Sahl acknowledged him as the first real 'angry' comedian.

This is true.

One of the worst things you could do is get funny ideas. It was a great deal worse than being liable to do anything as well as being all wet. But whatever you did back in the 40s, never mention Niagra Falls....

NIAGRA FALLS!!!!