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Comment count is 47
Cube - 2010-07-10

Why do they always hire retards who can't manage a thing to act in the beginning of these commercials?


La Loco - 2010-07-10

Retards that can't manage anything is their target audience.


RocketBlender - 2010-07-10

La Loco is spot on. I mean, it's a product to help you effectively crack an egg. People who can't do anything right are the only ones this company wants to associate with.


La Loco - 2010-07-10

Finally, something we can agree on Rocketblender. :) Maybe we can has a cheezeburger later. ;)


Candlejackv616 - 2010-07-10

Needs a "Bumbling" tag.


RocketBlender - 2010-07-11

I can haz olive branch?


BHWW - 2010-07-10

When I first saw this a while back, I thought it just HAD to be a parody of the sort of commercials for cheap-o, gimmicky "labor saving" gadgets and tools that don't seem really practical. But no...


Colonel Cowlung - 2010-07-10

If you can't crack an egg, your muffins and meringues have bigger problems to worry about.


Killer Joe - 2010-07-10

"DAMMIT CLARE! THE DAMN HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE MUFFINS AGAIN!?!"


boner - 2010-07-10

I always figure these seemingly-useless gadgets are actually some kind of secret sex toy that only insiders know about, and the whole commercial is written in code words.


SolRo - 2010-07-10

The "waterproof back massagers" have that one covered.


Aubrey McFate - 2010-07-10

I saw that episode of Mad Men too!


IrishWhiskey - 2010-07-10

The only actual use this thing could have, is quickly peeling hardboiled eggs. However, every time they "demonstrate" that use, they do a quick cut from the crack, to the finished product. Its the only time in the ad they do so. In other words out of its two uses, one is pointless and the other doesn't work.


azazel - 2010-07-10

You wrote it before I could.


glasseye - 2010-07-11

If the shell is sticking your eggs are probably too fresh for hard boiling. Wait a few days and it'll be much easier.


Senator_Unger - 2010-07-10

Remember that time we invented powered human flight? Where did *those* inventors go?


SolRo - 2010-07-10

the patent and distribution process is so expensive that they either sell their good invention to a company or work for a company that gets all rights and profit from the invention


Aubrey McFate - 2010-07-10

They exist, they just don't make infomercials for undersexed housewifes.


Senator_Unger - 2010-07-10

Now I really want to see the Wright Brothers do an infomercial for undersexed housewives.


phalsebob - 2010-07-10

That's great Phil, but I can't turn my stove on without setting my head on fire. Do you have something for that?!


Phil - 2010-07-10

Well I have this flame retardant gel we use for stunts, I guess you could use it as styling gel.
I'm not sure why you're asking me though.


athodyd - 2010-07-10

The odd thing about the Bacon Wave is that in some situations it actually behaves more like a particle


Chalkdust - 2010-07-10

^^


Ursa_minor - 2010-07-10

^


memedumpster - 2010-07-10

Bacon Bits according to information theory.


Redlof - 2010-07-10

No way in hell that cheap piece of plastic actually works. For every 12 eggs they filmed at least 11 of them probably got all over the place.


Sundry - 2010-07-10

You know what? Kudos to whoever came up with the design. It is a nice, simple and useful. There is no much market for it outside informercials, but I'm not going to mock.

Five stars for the separator idea alone.


Document - 2010-07-12

Yeah, it's a nice design, but it's a dad invention. Like when your dad disappears out to his workshop and returns two days later, holding his newest invention aloft.

"What does it do, dad?" - "It only CRACKS FUCKING EGGS." And he demonstrates it over the kitchen sink and it works 2 out of 5 times, and the family politely claps and dad looks very proud of himself. And then he drops it into the knife-and-fork drawer, everyone forgets about it and you end up giving it away as a "quirky" Christmas present.

That's the EZ Cracker, but on a national scale. It's a cool little machine! It probably does what it says it will! It's a pretty clever design! It's really very charming! But, like all dad inventions, it's essentially pointless.


Aubrey McFate - 2010-07-10

Man, I am a shitty cook, and I have baked like two things in my life, and I still know how to crack a fucking egg.


mashedtater - 2010-07-11

i barely know what a stove is, but for fucks sake ive never made a muffin with eggshells in it


Camonk - 2010-07-10

"Separating eggs are a nightmare"

GERUNDS CAN'T BE PLURALS YOU MONGS

Unless you're using "separating" as an adjective in which case you're right, separating eggs tear whole families apart.


Scynne - 2010-07-10

I love you, Camonk.


ogmisce - 2010-07-10

this comment gets five stars


fluffy - 2010-07-10

The healthiest bacon


oddeye - 2010-07-10

God everything is just so damn hard these days!


kennydra - 2010-07-10

i'm gonna go perform some tests in my kitchen to see just how hard you have to smash and egg against the side of a pan to get it to spill all over the stove like that.


Caminante Nocturno - 2010-07-10

I'm going to my local bakery tomorrow so I can yell about crunchy eggshells ruining those muffins.

I expect to be thrown out.


Sanest Man Alive - 2010-07-11

I noticed none of those twits could actually wipe up their spilled eggs, either. Maybe they should've bundled some relabeled chamoises or such to sweeten the deal, because it's 1:1 odds their target audience is all equipped with Bacon Waves already.


Jeriko-1 - 2010-07-11

Saw a citrus juicer at the store today. A metal hinged clamp that squeezes halved oranges, lemons, etc.

Only 19.95!

I'll just squeeze them with my arthritic talons, thank you.


cognitivedissonance - 2010-07-11

You crack it on a flat surface, NOT ON THE RIM OF THE BOWL.

Jesus.

You'd think that with all those funds they're taking out of arts education they could at least put it into home economics.


astropod five - 2010-07-11

If I had to crack like a hundred eggs at once a thing like this would be useful.


RocketBlender - 2010-07-11

I dunno. It looks like it would take more time to get the egg in and the empty shells out than it would to crack an egg. If you needed to crack that many for something, you could always just crack them all, then pass it through a strainer or something afterwards to separate any shells you think you got in there. This thing is just plain useless.


Suedeo - 2010-07-11

okay, okay, okay, okay.... So say I had to crack a hundred eggs in rapid succession, twice a day, five days a week (holidays off) WHAT THEN


JimL2 - 2010-07-12

FUCK FUCKING EGGSHELLS

GODDAMMIT

FINALLY THERES A PRODUCT TO SHOW THOSE FUCKING EGGSHELLS THEIR PLACE


Rudy - 2010-07-12

No, sir, I can safely say I have never once done that.


eatenmyeyes - 2010-07-16

This ad could really do with an Edith Massey cameo.


joelkazoo - 2011-01-24

She's been dead since 1984, but with the wonders of CGI, it could happen (like those freaky dead-eyed Orville Reddenbacher commercials).


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