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Desc:starring Steven Seagal and his amazing magic bullets.
Category:Classic Movies, Crime
Tags:bullets, Ridiculous, steven seagal, take that laws of physics!
Submitted:Rodents of Unusual Size
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Comment count is 13
hornung - 2010-09-09
i counted a 38 round clip for his first burst.
was i right?
chumbucket - 2010-09-09
you apparently missed the 5 separate 1 nanosecond reloads

takewithfood - 2010-09-09
Steven Seagal can reload a gun just by pulling back the slide. He doesn't need another clip or more bullets because he has done so much training.

oddeye - 2010-09-09
His gun just had 38 really small bullets in it is all.

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-09-09
The Powerpuff Girls theme just cant get started.
Anaxagoras - 2010-09-09
Wouldn't it have been easier to sidestep all those arrows?

longwinded - 2010-09-09
the one that hits the wall after he moves was clearly going to miss him in the first place

so much wrong with this

Anaxagoras - 2010-09-09
Yeah, I noticed that too. And then I wondered why I'm bothing to notice *anything* about a Steven Seagal movie.

BHWW - 2010-09-09
Having seen this movie (as part of my self-appointed mission to watch all of Seagal's direct-to-DVD/USA Network output), I can say an appropriate tagline would have been "You Will Believe A Fat Man Can Fly, Through Awkward Wire-Fu Stunts". Seagal flails his arms at mooks, they go flying.

Plus, in one scene he fights a ladyboy with razor sharp fingernails, mostly by standing in one place while s/he zips around at him.

Plus, the chief villan is a corrupt Thai military officer who gets some mystical backup from some sort of weird-bearded wizard but the wizard's anti-Seagal hoodoo complete with needle-stuck doll is countered by the goodvibes of a monastary full of chanting Buddhist monks on Seagal's side.
kingarthur - 2010-09-09
Machete should have been that much fun.

Asmodee - 2010-09-09
Man, it's too bad the FBI ruined Seagal's career because he's not a has-been, one dimensional, no talent douche-bag or anything.
memedumpster - 2010-09-09
He must have wrote the script for this movie himself. No running scenes.
Squeamish - 2010-10-07
Steven Seagal lives in a world of pure imagination, and we are not allowed in without a passport.
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