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Desc:My son is in jail for selling ecstacy and my daughter is addicted to painkillers and wine from a box
Category:Educational, Humor
Tags:truth hurts, lawyers, attorneys, im studying for the lsat, maybe ill go to art school instead
Submitted:pineapplejuicer
Date:10/29/10
Views:1786
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Comment count is 29
Pillager - 2010-10-29

'Ambien chased by scotch.'


catpenis27 - 2010-10-29

I did that once on an airplane. The luggage racks were moving all over the place and it took me like 10 minutes to make it to the bathroom. I didn't even have to piss, after sitting there for like an hour I just went back to my seat.


Rape Van Winkle - 2010-10-29

I have a lawyer brother. The guy in this even looks like him.


Zoot42 - 2010-10-29

My parents are lawyers. This is a fact.


RocketBlender - 2010-10-29

Hey pineapple, do you have an aim or a yahoo? You're seriously making me reconsider my interest in college and law., I'd like to know what your experience was like.


spikestoyiu - 2010-10-29

Not as good as the other one, even though the other one contained the word "frack"... twice.


Raggamuffin - 2010-10-29

Alright, am I alone? Seriously done listening to annoying robot voices deflecting straw-man arguments?


Raggamuffin - 2010-10-29

Cause if thats what I wanted, I'd just copy/paste Poe-News into this: http://www2.research.att.com/~ttsweb/tts/demo.php


sosage - 2010-10-29

So what I am getting from these is it doesn't matter what path you chose for school/career, because they all lead to misery.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-10-29

The lesson is never try.


Anaxagoras - 2010-10-29

I'm learning a much more valuable lesson: morons don't listen to advice when they finally succeed in getting an idea into their stupid head.

I tested this theory out earlier today, and it turns out it's true!


kingarthur - 2010-10-29

They all lead to misery, but you need to seek a misery/life balance, pay your bills, and save for retirement. You pull that off and you win.

This is my advice to you.

Also avoid working for assholes. That's what we call the trap door.


kingarthur - 2010-10-29

The secondary lesson is to never pursue your dreams. Your dreams, 95% of the time will never come true, even if you do get the career of your choosing. Face this fact early in life and its all gravy from there.


spikestoyiu - 2010-10-29

Yeah, right. I barely went to community college, paid like 0 for the whole thing, and now I'm a network engineer and part-time kickboxing/MMA coach. I almost never take my work home with me, I've been making enough to buy myself a house in my mid-twenties and I get six weeks a year to go hang out in Thailand. I'm not trying to brag about any of that shit because it's really okay at best, but I'm a'ight.


fluffy - 2010-10-29

That's been my experience, Anaxagoras. I'd rant about how my sister blames me for not making her rich off a trivial and stupid iPhone app that she "invented" even though as soon as the iPhone came out there were dozens of people doing exactly that, ignoring that it's just a bit of shiny paint over something the iPhone has built-in. When she proposed the idea to me I told her immediately how trivial it would be and how there wouldn't be any money in it, and she still thinks that her idea was worth a million billion dollars or something.


Xenocide - 2010-10-29

The "don't pursue your dreams" advice only really applies if you're the sort of person who can't deal with failure. Ask yourself: how quickly do I bounce back emotionally from a major fuck-up? What do I focus on when I make a mistake? If you're resilient enough that you can handle -and even value- failure, then go for it. If you're prone to beating yourself up when you fail, then maybe you should think again.

But (and I'm not old enough to have experienced this myself but I know some old guys who give great advice) be aware that not having pursued a dream at all is in itself a type of failure. It's much more subtle; it doesn't punch you in the gut and leave you a wreck like the more immediate kind. It creeps up on you over the course of years: at first a nagging, transient feeling that crops up from time to time, finally taking full form, in your later years, as a tiny voice in the back of your head chanting "Maybe you could have achieved that. Maybe you would have failed. But now you'll die without ever knowing how far you could have gone."

Some people think that's worse. Others can live with it, but not with trying and failing. All you can do is decide which one will hurt you less. That last sentence applies well to 95% of life.

Of course, you could also try and succeed. But don't assume that. Just treat it like a pleasant surprise.


Xenocide - 2010-10-29

Who was I even talking to with that message.

The children, that's who. Wu Tang is for the children.


Baldr - 2010-10-29

Sosage, it's more that certain professions eat their children, and these are the screams of the cannibalized. You can tell which professions do this by checking the ratio of awarded professional degrees to available positions that pay decent wages for graduates.


Raggamuffin - 2010-10-29

Xeno, how about:

"It's better to regret something you have done, than something you haven't done."


Robin Kestrel - 2010-10-29

That was unexpectedly poignant, Xeno.


kingarthur - 2010-10-30

Eh, maybe I'm speaking from my own jaded perspective and reluctant as I am to post anything vaguely personally identifiable on this site, here goes:

I finished undergraduate despite being kidnapped and beaten in college just before having my identity stolen and enduring an ongoing undiagnosed medical condition, dropped out of grad school due to Hurricane Katrina and a suicide attempt and then dropped out of grad school a second time due to a major illness (finally diagnosed this time) that landed me in the hospital for weeks. I have no savings and I live at home with mom and dad, can't find a job due to piss-ant economy, Katrina recovery, credit score due to medical issues, and stigma associated with my illness in backwards-as-fuck Mississippi and have ever-increasing student loan debt due to interest (in the range of 70K) from grad school I couldn't finish. But you know, think positive.

In my experience all that "pursue your dreams/positive thinking" bullshit is a luxury for those with enough money or enough stupid to do it. Me, I spend enough effort just trying to not think about reasons to kill myself or trying not to go mad.
But you know, pursue your dreams. I, on the other hand, am pretty much willing to rent my asshole out for vigorous trade just to make interest payments on a consolidated loan.

:D


kingarthur - 2010-10-30

Didn't post a word of that for pity. Only posted for a dose of reality in the middle of well-off suburban privileged wankery. I'm a firm believer in the idea that the worst thing the guidance counselor can possibly tell you is to follow your heart.


Raggamuffin - 2010-10-30

Never pursue your dreams or you will get sick and hit by hurricanes.


memedumpster - 2010-10-29

"Science cleared that guy, a lawyer put his ass in prison."


kingofthenothing - 2010-10-29

I know, that's what I was going to quote, too.


Tom Collins - 2010-10-29

I'm going to be using that one in conversation.


chumbucket - 2010-10-29

living, breathing document comment


FABIO - 2010-10-29

From personal experience, "Going to law school" has usually translated to "My well off to rich parents finally got tired of me fucking around and want me to get a degree before they give me a job in the family business."


Caminante Nocturno - 2011-08-30

The only thing I hate more than xtra normal are the people who use it.


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