Prayer is this beautiful energy of white light, filled with love and healing force. We charge the battery for months with this energy, then, at the right time, I plug in my laptop and use all that power to surf POETV.

One of the things that always, ALWAYS gives me pause at my job is whenever I have to walk through the Christian books and see literally racks and racks of books devoted SOLELY to the art of PRAYING BETTER. It almost makes me want to weep for humanity every time I have to even touch anything in that section. This video roughly approximates that feeling.

This is exactly how stupid all religious belief seems to me. My dog is less gullible than these people, and she barks whenever someone on TV rings a doorbell.

The prayer battery level is OVER 9000!!!!

Now it all makes sense, we're actually invading other countries to steal their prayers.

"Prayer energy, because it operates at a higher frequency..."

Uh. Higher than what? What frequency? EM? Radio? UHF? Microwaves? At what frequency does prayer resonate? Can I create a machine that runs the same frequency and put it in my seat at church, then stay home on Sunday?

You fools! Don't just go around bragging about the prayer battery! That's like asking Lex Luthor to steal it. You guys are going to be sorry when Lex shoves all the prayers into a syringe, injects them right into his brain, and starts throwing continents into the sun.

I do something like this, but with orphan children.

I want to see the machine they plug the battery into to send prayers where they're needed most.