Black people tag, quick!

trampled fat guy: "Organs ruptured...bleeding internally...must. go. on... to buy. TV for.... less!"

This tears me in two directions: 1. The cries of the trampled irk me, and I only want them to stop suffering; 2. All involved are contributing to a disgusting spectacle in which people are routinely trampled every year and I despise them for perpetuating this.

It's gross on many registers.

Is it wrong that I kinda wanna shoot up one of these black friday events? just put them all out of their fucking misery.

Ok. yeah. that is wrong.

but still. so sad. deeply sad on so many levels.

Fuck I hate Christmas shopping.

Informal tradition for the day after Thanksgiving: at 5:00, load up plates with leftovers and flip on the TV. Everybody tosses onto the coffee table and makes their best guess as to how many minutes that stories about people getting injured on Black Friday will take up on the 2-hour block of news. Closest without going over wins the pot.

We're ALL Devo.

Those hover chairs from Wall-E will solve so many problems!

Oh yeah, "why the terrorists hate us" tag?

This is why you shop via the internet, FOOLS!

"DON'T RUN PLEASE!!!"

This is what I say at my job. Only it's with little kids and when I catch them, I'll go ahead and take them back to the end of the line.

The driving force behind the world's economy, folks. Well, for a few more years anyway.

There's a clog in the garbage chute.

This was in North Buffalo.

If the roof collapsed and killed them all it would make the world a better place.

Christ. At least people stopped when people in front of them fell down, although that's tempered by them yelling at each other for being "ignorant fat fuckers" or whatever.

Agree with poster, Devo was RIGHT!

I hate being part of this species.

So this is like a map for left 4 dead, right?

Jesus Christ

As a Canadian, its even harder for me to take the usual snooty "Oh look, Americans" air due to the fact that this is Buffalo(which is basically Canada), and the large number of Tim Horton coffees people appear to be holding

Holy shit

Isn't it about time we outlaw Black Friday?

Oh, that's right, free market, personal freedom, blah blah blah...

this is me in this video im that first guy in the yellow coat

Seeing all that sweaty fat girl cleavage makes it all worth it right?

This is a trap, right? They're going to lock the doors and set the place on fire.

So, let me get this straight... terrorists want to blow up Christmas Tree lightings, but can't do us all a favor and target Target/Walmart on Black Friday?
Proof that there really is no god.

Who here (besides me) assumes that at least half of the big-ticket purchases people were making were for themselves, not gifts for others?

BUT I SAVED ON A KINDLE

I like how the later people were smiling and waving at the camera. They had no idea that people had been trampled only a couple minutes before.

God damn it!
What the hell is wrong with people!?

I've gone to a couple of black friday sales at a local Fry's (big computer electronics store). There was never this kind of craziness at either of them.

Part of me wants to say it's because nerds are calmer and more rational on the whole, but it's probably because this kind of athletic effort is beyond them.

The fattest, ugliest country in the history of the world.

November 27th, 2008

There we were; the sentries. We, who had diligently risen at 3AM only to wait four hours in the bitter cold. We kept one another company that cold Autumn morning among our neighbors, telling stories, sharing laughs, even swapping our precious shopping strategies. Huddled together for warmth beneath that neon Kohl's sign, we stood as one against the darkness and the wind.
Then they came; the vultures. They who had slept in, and now gathered at the outset of the parking lot. No words exchanged between those faces, still flushed and warm from their car heaters. They had no loyalty to speak of, so much as a desire to elicit cooperation from their horde. They lacked our lust for life's adventures. Their only only common thought was to consume mindlessly, writhing together in that ever-growing mass just beyond the reaches of the light.
When the doors finally opened, our single-file phalanx fell quickly into chaos as we were overrun by their superior numbers. They pushed through, pretending to talk on their phones, convincing themselves that they were not to blame for the cries of the fallen. Their solidarity lasted only as far as the door, after which it was every-man-for-himself.
After those few, yet seemingly eternal moments of hardship, we too earned our way inside... only to discover that all was for naught. A storm of locusts summoned by Moses himself could not have picked the shelves any more bare. Yet suddenly, the world had found calm. For there they were, obediently lined up at the registers and well around the corners of the store like starving dogs, begging for permission to feed. The checkout lanes clogged, forcing their feeding frenzy to an abrupt halt. I took their frustration as an opening and struck.
"Look Wife, there's the lady who pretended not to notice our shouts as she shouldered us apart, shoving past our held hands. And Sister, can you see that girl there, who did not hesitate for a second to deliver The People's Elbow upon an elderly man for discount socks?" Their eyes widened in bewilderment as they cursed, whispered, and hissed under their breath. I went up and down the line, reflecting their sins back upon them like some medieval Jesuit priest.
None would drop out of line to follow or rebuke me, as I exited the store into fresh daylight and led my family toward a nearby Dairy Queen. Now as I remember that day I quickly grow tired, having developed a sense of pity for those poor creatures, as much a victim of their own avarice as anyone else. Perhaps someday, humanity will see the error of its ways. Or perhaps someday, I will invest in a Goddamned Taser. Either way, I intend for these folks to see the light.