Can we take media access away from retards, please?

If you hate the LGBT community so much lady, why do you dress like a Transgendered woman?

So when God chooses to let a nation know that he's upset with a specific action they have taken God waits an indeterminate period of time before choosing a trite occurrence to use as a sign?

Only crime against nature I see here is that jacket.

ZING!

This is an Amy Sedaris skit. This must be an Amy Sedaris skit.

Right?

WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE REDWING BLACKBIRDS????

This God rose from the Dead, and during Armageddon will annihilate all that stand against him by uttering one word.

That's the future though... Today, he'll kill a few flocks of birds randomly in a display of his righteous anger. This should send a clear sign to the entire human race that he not only exists... but that he's totally pissed off.

So you see, Arkansas, if you would only stop being so nice to gays, God wouldn't have be forced to kill your blackbirds.

GOD: Excuse me, birds?
BIRDS: Yes, Lord?
GOD: Well, I have some bad news. It seems the Americans are allowing gays into the military now.
BIRDS: Oh no! That's awful! What are you going to do about it, oh Lord?"
GOD: Yeah, about that. Ever heard the expression, "take one for the team"?

So apparently God was fooled by DADT and didn't know gays were serving in the military until the repeal so his answer was "NOPE" and killed some birds in a state where no gays are allowed even though he has the power to do literally anything.

God is a spoiled 14 year old kid with a Limp Bizkit CD and every time he gets mad, he goes to his room and blasts "Break Stuff"

This woman is a cunt.

Are you sure the birds aren't just hiding in her hair?

You should never ask Don Tell anything. He's full of shit.

How do these birds' deaths relate to Xiphias bird related posts? Is he stealing their souls?

Hey... I'm just asking a logical question.

I like the "Abu Dhabi Weather Machine Mad Science" explanation better.

If the folk of Beebe, Arkansas want to know what killed their birds, they should look in their own neighborhood. There's a 10+ acre abandoned (judging by the algae growth) catfish farm/sewage impound 2 miles southeast of their town. Check whether its full of arsenic (from chicken CAFOs etc) before you blame the Almighty.

It looks like she's dressed in a spearmint gum commercial.

In the year TWOOOO-THOUSAAAAND!
In the year TWOOOO-THOUSAAAAND!

Our God is a Cryptic God.

He obviously didn't know gays exist, or he wouldn't have taken on the responsibility of watching our world crumble to dust.