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This guy sucks at Karate.
"Sensei Greg isn't very good at karate. In fact, I've never actually seen anyone be so bad at anything and not die from it."
http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-unintentionally-hilarious-guides-dep ressing-situations_p2/ (It's after the sex over 40 thing)
In this case, you'd probably be better off with a gun or some sort of heavy duty cattle prod or something, anything else.
This is good for training your arms, but only so you can wheel yourself away faster.