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Comment count is 12
cognitivedissonance - 2011-07-19

Sometimes, I like to listen to DVD commentaries, not because I like the movie or have any interest in the process of making the film, but because it makes me feel like I have a dependable, if boring, person to watch movies with.


IrishWhiskey - 2011-07-19

This CD is not recommended for people struggling with erectile dysfunction.

When they say "featured on the Ellen DeGeneres Show", they do mean "relentlessly mocked on the Ellen DeGeneres Show" right? Because that CD could not possibly sound more sarcastic.


Comeuppance - 2011-07-19

Have you watched the Ellen Degeneres Show in the last few years? It's just blatant product placement and 50's-live-tv-style product endorsements under the guise of a talk show. Here is a breakdown of the show:

Ellen enters the room, the crowd goes crazy.
Ellen says or does something outrageous. The crowd goes crazy.
Ellen introduces a guest. The crowd goes crazy.
Ellen asks the guest an outrageous question. The crowd goes crazy while the guest looks embarrassed but amused.
Ellen has the guest do something outrageous that includes a lot of blatant product placement and mentions.

The end.
Ellen is a show that uses outrageous but meaningless things as a replacement for wit, allthewhile sucking sponsor dicks.


IrishWhiskey - 2011-07-19

I may not watch Ellen, but I'm pretty sure the last thing to accuse her of is sucking sponsor dicks. Perhaps hosting sponsor clam-bakes.


Comeuppance - 2011-07-19

I base this all on a glimpse I saw whilst in a Subway a week or so ago. She had the guest (name since forgotten) enter a Claritin™ wind tunnel phonebooth full of "allergens." As he was having this shit blown in his face, Ellen then began discussing all of the positive effects of Claritin™, instructing the audience to seriously consider asking a doctor about Claritin™ for their personal allergy problems. Then, as he stepped out of the wind tunnel phonebooth, she commented that he had not sneezed at all the entire time he was in there, thanks to the curative powers of Claritin™.

This segment lasted ten minutes. 1/4th of the show's actual content (not including the ads that both preceded it and followed it).
That is not just hanging out with the sponsors in a casual manner, that is forcefully jamming sponsor dong clear past her tonsils, only pulling back to let the sponsor jizz all over the audience.

That was very fun to type out. I'm giving five stars to this discussion for letting me rant about that.


sosage - 2011-07-19

Frisky Dingo...Season 1...Episode 3. Explains Ellen style shows better than anything else.


Comeuppance - 2011-07-19

Dupe, but the old one is down.
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=51465


IrishWhiskey - 2011-07-19

Your comment from the old one deserves reprinting, along with stars if I had them.

Comeuppance:
The sarcasm in "hoooooray for youuuuu" is only truly epiphanic when you're holding three puzzle pieces that don't fit together.


chumbucket - 2011-07-19

Stars for this resurrection miracle.


The Townleybomb - 2011-07-19

-1 for how I thought about the life of somebody who would pay for this and I got sad :(.


dairyqueenlatifah - 2011-07-19

I felt better about myself knowing that there are in fact people inferior to me on the social ladder, thanks to this commercial.


Jet Bin Fever - 2011-07-19

PURE SADNESS.


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