I bet you think Final Fantasy VII is the best in the series, you cultural troglodyte.

Nope. None of them are, as JRPGs make my brain melt from the awful dialog, inane plots, and so forth. The last one I tried was DMC4, and I saw such games have followed the Michael Bay path: Not much there, prettier to look at, and still never making a damn lick of narrative sense no matter how hard you try to find some.

Chronotrigger and Earthbound are the two good ones. They still have most of the negatives you mention but they embrace it and go to some crazy places.

Mario RPG is the third and final good jrpg.

Whenever someone says "I hate every RPG but..." you just know the next words will be either "Chrono Trigger" or "Earthbound." Maybe you can play them while you're having lunch with Jesus and Einstein.

Stars for SPK taking Bigger's comment with a straight face.